The Organization's Problems
by RadicalForbiddenPizzaRoll
Summary: The Organization wakes up to a suprise. They've all changed into different forms! Now Xemnas Vexen Saix & Marluxia are women, Larxene is a man, Xion Zexion & Luxord are kids, Xaldin is a Moogle, Roxas & Lexeaus are cats, and only Xigbar Axel and Demyx are the same! Will the Fourteen of them ever change back? How the hell should I know! Get readin' n' Reviewin'. Hope you enjoy it!
1. Who, and What, Is Everybody?

The Organizational Problem

Chapter 1: Who and What is Everybody?

In the Castle that never was, in the Meeting Room that Never Became, a group of fourteen pairs of eyes, four pairs of which belonged to women, four pairs to men, two to a pair of kittens, three pairs belonged to a set of children, and one pair to stuffed toy like animal, had all assembled into individual chairs, some reaching the ceiling of the white, cylinder shaped room.

When the kittens had finally reached their seats, which took some time, what with no other living entities helping them up, a silver-haired woman, the one with the top seat, said in a high, agitated voice, "So let me get this straight, Vexen, we're going to have to live in unfamiliar bodies, and we can't stop until we find an antidote?"

A girl with long, blonde hair, wearing a black cloak, stuttered back in a crackly voice, "Y-Yes Superior. Until then, we have to make due with our new bodies. And as for the sphere, we're certain that it will be easy enough to obtain within the next few months." The plushy like animal, now known as a Moogle, who sat in the third highest seat, spoke next.

"Are you kidding me, Vexen? A few months? If I go out on a mission as a Moogle, I'll end up getting raped by those perverted Synthesis Moogles! *Kupa* And I'm not even sure if Moogles mate! I can't stay like this for a few months! *Kupa*" Though he screamed this, his Moogle voice was soft and pleasant to the ears.

A boy with long, combed back, almost whitely-blonde hair, maybe eighteen by the looks of him, spoke up at the Moogles complaint. "Oh, grow a pair, Xaldin! We all have crap to deal with, and being a Moogle isn't the worst thing that someone's been turned into."

"I mean look at everyone! Xemnas, Vexen, Saix and Marluxia are freakin' girls now, I got turned into a dude, Xion, Zexion, and Luxord are seven, and Roxas and Lexeaus are cats! Seriously dude, if you don't stop complaining, I'm gonna cut the little red ball off you head and make you eat it."

Xaldin the Moogle then proceeded to shut the hell up.

Xemnas, the silver-haired woman in the top seat took up the conversation. "So, I must ask, as I was not apparently aware of how we came to our current situation, Axel, Xigbar, you and Demyx seem to be the only ones that have nothing wrong with them. So, why did I wake up this morning to find that some things were amiss?"

"Honestly," Said the red-haired man with emerald eyes, "If nothing happened to us, how the hell would we know, Superior?" His voice was sharp and on edge, like he was ready for anyone in the room to start a fight.

"Okay," Xemnas said, obviously annoyed with her (AUTHORS NOTE: I WILL BE WILL BE USING THE PRONOUN OF THE GENDER EACH MEMBER IS AS OF THIS POINT IN THE STORY.) subordinates answer, "let me rephrase that. Who here knows what and how we were turned into our current forms?"

Everyone in the room heard a small "meow" and all stared at the dirty-blonde tomcat that resided in the second lowest chair in the room.

_I know, _said a voice. Though it was not said, everyone heard the voice. It sounded like the voice of Number XIII, Roxas.

_I know what happened to us._

"Alright, how are you doing that Roxas?" asked the blonde Vexen, her voice brimming with wonder on the voice inside her head.

_Gypsy Magic._

"No. Really, how are you doing this?"

_Hey, Xigbar, remember that one time me, you, Lex, and Xion, went to Agrabah to hunt down that Gypsy?_

"Yeah, that thing nearly killed me." Said a man with long black hair tied in a loose ponytail, and had an eye-patch over his right eye, that might have been Xigbar.

_Well do you remember what that Gypsy did to us right before we killed it?_

"Yeah, it hit us with a purple beam of light, and afterwards, we could project thoughts to people… oh yeah. That's how he's doing it Vexen. Gypsy Magic."

"Enough mental explanations! Just tell us what happened, Roxas."

_Rightyoh. Well, you were a dude yesterday, right Superior?_

"No," Xemnas said sarcastically, "I've been a lady all my life. Yes I was a man last night, R-Tard."

Last night, after everybody went to bed, I had to go potty, so I woke up Xion to tell her how bad I needed to go-

"You woke up Number XIV just to tell her that you needed to use the bathroom?"

Yes. Yes I did, isn't that right, Xion?

The little girl that sat in the lowest chair with black hair nodded to the kitten. "Uh huh, Mr. Spikey-hair always tells me when he needs the potty."

See? Now, as I was saying, after I went pee, I decided that Vexen needed to go, too. So I got a bowl of warm water from the kitchen-

Vexen interrupted "You were going to try to make me pee? What did I do to you?"

For starters, you interrupt me when I try to tell funny stories.

"Vexen, stop being mean to Roxas." Xemnas butted in. Vexen stared in disbelief at the ignorance of the Superior.

"But that little bastard tried to make me pee!"

Nuh uh! Successfully made you pee.

"I told you to shut up Vexen. If you don't shut up now, I WILL give Larxene permission to be mean to you." The Ultimate Threat, Larxene. That shut up Number IV real quick. "So, Roxas you were making Vexen piss herself, well, _himself_, at the time.

_Oh yeah, after he pissed himself horribly," _he paused for a second and took a peek at Vexen's face. It was furious, alright. _I went back to the Kitchen, but not before I took some blackmail photos. But, when I went back to the Kitchen That Never Has Been, I felt something wrong, like there was another presence there._

"I want a present! Can I have a kitty?" shouted Xion happily. Roxas jumped from his seat, over a large, eight foot gap, and landed in Xion's lap. She started scratching the back of his neck, and soon, everyone started hearing soft purrs coming from Roxas.

As I was saying, he said, as Xion's petting became slower, it felt like there was another person in there with me. So I looked in the pantry, and nothing was in there, so I decided that it was just me, but I was wrong. As it turned out, Zexion was trying to read I guess, and when I opened the cabinet that he was reading in, I guess he messed up what it was he was doing, and poof, in the morning, we're all like this.

"So what you're saying is…you have absolutely no idea what happened. Is that it?" asked Saix shyly.

Yes. Yes it is.

Many people that day did an anime drop out of their chairs.

"Well then," said the Superior, "I guess that this meeting is over. Everybody, we have one week until we start assigning missions again, so learn the abilities and limitations of your new bodies. Roxas, Lexeaus, Xion, Zexion, and Luxord will be excused from missions until we attain our old bodies. Roxas, you're in charge of the children if everybody else is gone. Understood?"

In a relaxed voice, Roxas responded with his mental thought transfer capabilities, Yeah, sure, whatever, cookies, Namine, cookies, I'm on it Superior.

"Lexeaus," She continued, "I want you to keep the roaming Nobodies in check and to keep the Castle safe with that raw power of yours. You have the Thought Sharing Capabilities as well, correct?"

**Yes Sir. Leave it to me.**

After a bit of help with the kids and kittens, everyone went to exit the Meeting Room That Could Be to start preparing for their new jobs.

Xemnas paused before she opened the door to let the others out. "And everybody, tomorrow I'll call in Namine to come help out. If you're having trouble with your body, talk to her." Everybody gave a nod, and they exited.

The Next Morning, In The Living Room With A Slightly Used And Uncomfortable Sofa That Possibly Is

Xemnas picked up the cordless telephone and swept through the speed dial list, aiming for Namine's cell number. She passed a Jerry, a Hugh Heffner, a Sean T, two GameStop's, one Sora, and eight different pizza chain numbers before she finally found Namine.

"Who here could possibly know Hugh Heffner, and why are there eight different pizza chain numbers on here?"

She hit the grey call button and after five rings, cheery high female voice answered.

"Hey there, this is Namine, who is this?"

"Hey Namine, it's Superior. I need a favor. You mind?"

"No," She said, "Of course not. Your voice sounds a little high, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just having a bit of an… out of body experience, today."

"Um, Alright. I'll be right over, Xemnas." And they simultaneously hang up their phones.

Xemnas paced around the room a few times. It was almost noon and the only other person up besides herself was Zexion, and he was reading. Then, she got to thinking… What would someone here be doing with Game Stop, Sora, several pizza chains, and Hugh Heffner?

She was still pondering this almost twenty minutes later when Namine came in.

"Ah, you're here. I need you to make breakfast for us this morning, Namine." Namine gave her a confused stare for a few moments before she realized that Namine didn't know what had happened to the organization.

"Are you Xemnas' sister?" Namine asked, obviously confused and expecting a male Superior.

It took Xemnas a moment to realize that this was one of the first times that she had been called a woman.

"No! It's Xemnas, you dumbass."

"Oh… Why are you a lady?" Namine seemed to have accepted the Gender Transformation quite well. "Did everyone else get their gender swapped?"

"I wish so. It'd be a lot simpler to find a cure if everyone had the same illness, but no. Two of us were turned into cats, three were transformed into children, one of us turned into a Moogle, and five of us had our genders switched. We're not sure what happened, but that's why we called you in. We need you to help us out until everything reverts back to normal. Will you do it?"

Without even thinking, the almost white-blonde haired teenager agreed, "Yeah, I can help out a bit. But I do want to know one thing: Who're the kittens and kids?"

"If it's Roxas you want to know about, he's the blonde tomcat. And the orange one is Lexeaus." But before she had gone on to explain who the other cat was, she was already running off to fetch her beloved Number XIII.

"I think that I'm going to regret calling her." Xemnas said to herself with a sigh. "Still though, how did Hugh Heffner get on my speed dial?


	2. New Day, New Adventures

**The Organizational Problem**

**Chapter 2:**

**Before you start reading, I just want you to know one thing: Kittenness is my word. You can't have it. OH! And I learned to play the game Twenty-One when I was seven, too.**

"Awe! You're so cute, Roxas! You're still a kitten!" Namine bellowed. She had always loved two things in this world: Kittens, and Roxas. And, like a dream, the two were now one. She picked up the still sleeping kitten and rocked it in her arms.

Namine's gentle rocking and occasional petting eventually made Roxas start to purr softly. This encouraged Namine.

"Awe. He's just like a little kitty when he's asleep. I wonder if acts like one when he's not asleep." This brought on a montage of Namine hanging posters, paintings, drawings, and placing small toys on the floor. (AUTHORS NOTE: Don't think that this won't be a little funny when Roxas wakes up.)

**Elsewhere in The Castle That Never Was…**

Marluxia had just woken from her peaceful, undisturbed slumber feeling refreshed.

I'm feeling different today. Oh, yeah… I'm a girl now. What should I do? I know! I'll do something that's girly. Now… what is girly?

A thought popped into her mind.

_That's it! I'll plant petunias! Petunias are much more feminine than roses!_

**Back to Namine and Roxas… In the newly decorated room.**

Holy God… What the hell happened here? Namine, please tell me you killed whoever did this to my room. Did you kill them?

Roxas had just awoken from his restful sleep, and in his drowsy state of mind, didn't notice the… kittenness that had befallen his rest center.

"Why, Roxas, I redecorated your room for you. I thought since you're such a cute cat now, you'd like cat things." And Roxas had to say, "cat things" did describe what had become his room. Everywhere there were posters that said "HANG IN THERE BABY" with cats hanging on to wires. Then there were the wind-up toy mice that sat, scattered, all over the floor.

_Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. None of this intrigues me, Namine. _Though his voice was steady, his eyes kept darting back and forth from mouse to mouse. Namine must have noticed this, because she picked one up and wound it as far as it would go.

_What are you doing with that?_

She gave him a short giggle and set the mouse on the floor, not yet letting go. "You'll see." And she let go of the mouse.

It zipped across the room, moving in random direction like a Vector gone AWOL. In what must have been a quarter of a second, Roxas was on the ground, chasing the toy madly, not daring to cease the pursuit. After a minute and a half later, the mouse's random movements died down, slowed, and eventually stopped all together. Roxas pounced on the motionless toy, started to gnaw on its face, and realized that it wasn't real.

He then realized that he had been doing something that was undoubtfully catlike.

_Damn you, Namine. I'll get you making a fool of Roxas, Number XIII of the most powerful Organization in the history of mankind._ But by the time he had finished the sentence Namine had wound up another mouse and unleashed it.

_Damn you to hell! _He thought as he started the hunt for the toy.

In The Living Room With A Slightly Used And Uncomfortable Sofa That Possibly Is…

"Twenty-One eh? Sure I can play a quick game, but you'd better watch, back in the old days, my Other could play mean game of Blackjack." Luxord and Xigbar had just woken up, and the two had nothing better to do, the Luxord, now a seven year old, suggested Twenty-One.

Of course, after the second hand, Luxord had made things more interesting. "How 'bout we put something on the line? I bet this deck of cards. What do you put up?" Though he might have been only seven, Luxord was very persuasive, and Xigbar took the bait.

"Alright, little man," he threw a couple dollar bills between himself and Luxord, "I put up two bucks."

Luxord dealt out the face down cards and the first of the face-ups. They both checked their own cards.

"Hit me." Xigbar said, keeping an expressionless face. Luxord dealt again, and after fourteen seconds of calculating what his face-down plus his new face-up cards were, he sighed. "Busted." He threw down a face card, a seven, and another face card.

Luxord however, turned over his face-down card, and as it was, he had an ace and a face card. A perfect score of twenty-one.

"Heh, guess I win, Old Man." He picked up the two dollar-bills and slipped them into the kangaroo pouch of his black cloak.

"Fine, double-or-nothing, you little brat." He threw another two bucks down, and Luxord threw his cash in. Another perfect twenty-one for Luxord, and another bust for Xigbar. Later, Xemnas passed a very depressed looking Xigbar.

"Something wrong, Xigbar?" She asked, not quite sympathetically.

He ground his teeth. "I'm going to the bank." He said as he opened a portal. He kept on muttering things as he stopped into the portal like "Little Bastard" and "Even took my eye-patch" and "Steal it back tonight."

By now, it was lunch time in the Castle That Never was, and everyone was hungry, including Roxas and Lexeaus the kittens.

Now, keep in mind, Lexeaus always did love fish. He liked to eat every type in fact, and it could be cooked in any fashion, fried, steamed, boiled, grilled, even raw. But what came out of that can during lunch, was no kind of fish. In no universe, could that lump of water and what looked, literally, like a piece of crap, EVER be considered to be some kind animal that once lived in water. He was pretty sure that he saw a clump of hair and a human tooth poking themselves out of the top of the "Nutritious Meal"

And as for Roxas, he was pretty sure that "Gourmet" food isn't supposed to smell like vomit, diarrhea, and burnt rubber.

_God help us. _They both thought at the same time after investigating their dishes. Then they looked at the rest of the Organizations food. Cheeseburger Macaroni, Dr. Pepper, and brownies had been prepared for everyone, even Xaldin the Moogle.

Now we know why pets beg for table-scraps, Lex. Now we know what crap they have to go through.

_**Let's never abuse being able to eat real food without dying ever again.**_

Then Namine set down two saucers of milk. Roxas lapped it up with his sandpapery tongue immediately while Lexeaus stared his down for a moment before his licked it up. Roxas gave a big ol' Kitty sigh of relief before he took a long deep breath.

_Why're you taking so long to drink you milk, Lex? _He asked his fellow kitten.

_**You'll find out later, Roxas. You'll find out later.**_

Has anyone ever told you how creepy the way you answer questions is? Like, everyday people ask you what you're going to do in the bathroom, and you always say stuff like, 'That's not necessary information' or 'you'll find out later.' I guess that last one is kinda funny but the other one is creepy… and a little funny. But yeah, why do you say that when you could give a straight answer?

**Reasons.**

There it is again.

**Maybe you should shut the hell up before I DO give you a straight answer.**

At that, a decision was made inside the blonde kittens mind: Silent would be Roxas, till the end of his days… or at least for the next forty-eight seconds.

So… the milk. Why'd you drink it so slowly?

*pppffffffffffffffffft*

Did you just cut the cheese? *gasp* Dude! That's rank! I think you need to see a doctor. That smell's terrible. Dude! Ugh! Dang! I need oxygen!

**I told you you'd find out later, Roxas. I'm lactose intolerant. This is what happens when I have dairy.**

Kill me! Kill me! Someone, please decapitate me! I'm begging you guys! Please!

**Shut the crap up before I let one rip again!**

God… someone get the air freshener. Open a window. Light a match. Do something.

**

**That one sounded a little wet. I think I'll step outside for a minute.**

That's right you're gonna go out for a minute. Oh God! It's back! I can still smell it!

"Did somebody just cut the cheese?" asked Xemnas. "God! That's horrific!"


	3. Randomness

The Organization's Problems

Chapter 3

**Hey guys, before you start reading, just want to let you know, this is still the same day that Roxas and Lexeaus had the milk, it's just a little later in the day. I.E. only about 6 days until they start missions. That'll be fun.**

"You're such a jackass sometimes."

"Likewise, Crackwhore."

"I'm a dude now. I can't be a whore."

"Haven't you ever seen Deuce Bigalow? He was a male whore. You're like him, except he was awesome and took his customers to baseball games and that crap."

"Shut up already. If anyone's a crackwhore, it'd have to be you, Marluxia. And have you noticed that you the EXACT same as before you were a girl?

"Yeah, I was a lot better looking than you then, too."

"Shut up, Asshole."

_What's going on here, guys? _Asked a small, blonde kitten.

"Crackwhore over there," Marluxia stuck a thumb over her shoulder towards the now male Larxene. "was trying to kill me for no reason."

"Feh, yeah right. I saw you giving me the eye. No one gives me the eye and lives to tell about it."

"I was asleep. My eyes," she stopped and pointed to her seeing balls. "were closed. How could I have given you the eye when I was napping?"

Marluxia! Why'd you give Larxene the eye? That's like flipping off John Cena, or stealing a penny from Barack Obama!

"I was sleeping! How am I supposed to give someone the eye while I'm taking a nap!"

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse, Asshole." Larxene said, flipping off Marluxia.

"You stole that line from COPS!"

Larxene summoned his Foudre and Marluxia brought out her Scythe, each ready to kick some ass.

**In the Bathroom That Most Wish Wasn't…**

**I'm supposed to piss in this? **Lexeaus asked himself, obviously not impressed with the bathroom accommodations set up.

"Really? I thought you'd think of it as a new experience. You really don't like it?" Asked Namine, who had set up the small box of sand and other absorbent materials.

**Nope, it makes me feel like I'm about to take a dump in a diaper full of sand.**

"This is what I could get you right now, but if you want, I can go get you a real diaper that I can fill with some sand. Would you rather me get you that?"

… **No. That would make me even more quiet than I already am. I don't know how to deal with that.**

Namine exited the bathroom, Lexeaus at her heels.

**In The Living Room With A Slightly Used And Uncomfortable Sofa That Possibly Is…**

"Alright, I've got twelve hundred bucks, all in ones, and I'm ready to win back everything I lost, you little ankle-biter." Xigbar was back from the bank, and he was ready. He may have lost over three hundred dollars two hours ago, but he was ready to have it back.

"Rightyo, Loser." Luxord said, ready to swindle this chump AGAIN. Sure, he might be good at a game of chance, and he might be able to count cards here and there, but his abilities all lied in time. Though he was only seven, he knew a wide range of things he could do with his time powers. For instance, he could stop time for thirty seconds at a time.

This ability may or may not have helped him choose the right cards to lay down for him, or his opponent. It also may or may not be the reason for his vast collection of Xigbar's items, like his eye-patch, his shoes, and one of his semi-auto arrow sniper pistols. (YES, I MEANT PISTOLS.)

Hey guys! Are you playing a game? Mind if I join in?

"Sure, have you got a bet?"

Roxas thought for a moment, then, the perfect thought erupted into his head.

Alright, one with the lowest score, or busts the highest, has to eat my dinner.

"Sounds good." Luxord threw a few dollar bills in the center of the three, as did Xigbar. Luxord dealt out the cards, and the three of them got their poker-faces on (This wasn't really very hard for Roxas, seeing as how a cat can only give away so many emotions.)

"Hit me." Xigbar said. He peeked at his face-down card once more. Luxord blinked twice. He blinked twice again. He seemed to have shifted positions in the blink of an eye. And Xigbar's face-down card had moved ever so slightly to the left.

"Stay" said Xigbar, looking down at his cards.

Stay said Roxas who was really hoping that he wouldn't have to eat the dinner. (No, in case you're wondering, I don't know how a kitten is supposed to be playing a card game like twenty-one.)

"Stay." said Luxord, though he was dealer.

They all flipped over their down-faced cards, and the results were as follows:

Roxas- Two Face Cards- Twenty Points

Luxord- One Face Card and one Ace- Twenty-One Points

Xigbar- Two Face Cards and one Seven- Twenty-Seven Points

Alright guys, I was just playing until I got my dinner out of my possession. Lux, could you put my money on my bed.

"Sure thing. You played a nice hand." Roxas walked around after the hand, Luxord counted his money, and Xigbar… he just sat staring at his cards, mouth agape.

He had just lost in Twenty-One to a seven year old, and a freaking cat! And back when the cat was human, it was a moron, so that made things even worse. "I'm going to eat cat food tonight. DAMN ITTTTTTTTTTTTT!"

**In Xaldins Room…**

"I can't believe… I got stuck as a Moogle. *Kupa*"

"Hey, don't be sad." Said a light, girl voice.

"Why… is that, Namine?" asked Xaldin.

"It's just that… you look really pathetic when your little head ball droops down."

"… Thanks for the pep talk, I think I'll go have a drink… Something strong. *Kupa* And not mine."

"Glad I could help you feel better!" Namine yelled, fist-pumping, basking in her accomplishment.

Meanwhile, two feet in front of her, someone was trying to see if a Moogle had the ability to Flip-Off people. They could.

**In The Library That Never Was…**

Lexeaus had just entered the room, and not to his astonishment, in one of the many black, leather chairs, sat a wild Zexion, quietly flipping through a thin book.

**So what're you reading, Zexion?**

He quickly glanced over to the orange-haired tom-cat. "This book is trying to describe the adventures of a clumsy bear that's gathered acquaintances, such as a jack rabbit with severe Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder, A tiger that has amazing strength in only his tail, a small pig that will never stop stuttering due to its insecurities, a depressing Mule, most likely to commit suicide within the next few pages, and an orphaned human boy that reads, like myself, but he is constantly trying to teach these animal useless lessons."

**So… What's it called?**

"The name of this book of fables is, 'Winnie The Pooh'. Though why would have chosen such a last name for a bear, I have no idea."

**I think I'll go check something out.**

Lexeaus scampered around the white and grey floors of the library, sometimes turning his head to read the spin of a book here and there. Eventually he started down a row of shelves that was filled with the same author. And it was all one series of books called "Things to do if…" and, on the bottom shelf, sat a book that Lexeaus thought no one but him and Roxas would EVER need: Things to Do If You Are Turned into a Cat, by Sheelby A. Moron.

He gripped the spine of the book with his cat teeth, and, after a few minutes of prying it out of the tightly packed shelves, the book was in his possession. Now, he needed to find Roxas.

**Back To Luxord And Xigbar…**

Current Winnings:

Luxord- Won- $1198, a pair of shoes, and a Nintendo© 3DS Loss- $0

Xigbar- Won- Absolutely Nothing Loss- $1200, his last pair of shoes, and his Cosmos Black Nintendo© 3DS

"Damn it." Xigbar said weakly. So far, he had yelled out that every time he had lost anything.

**In The Kitchen That Isn't…**

"And then you add in the flour, baking soda, and salt. Then you stir, put them in the oven, and let them cool. And that's where babies come from."

**In The Living Room With A Slightly Used And Uncomfortable Sofa That Possibly Is…**

Saix had already, swept, vacuumed, mopped, scrubbed, polished, and now, everything in the livingroom was successfully spotless.

"Finally done. Thanks for the help, Axel."

"No problem, man. But I have to say, ever since you became a girl, you've been cleaning a lot. That a little weird to you?"

"Yeah, but hey, wanna hear a sexist joke?"

"Lay it on me, broseph."

"Okay, if tree falls on a woman… why was there a tree in the kitchen?" They both cracked up laughing.

"Okay, okay, I've got one. Why did the woman cross the road?"

"Why" asked Saix, already starting to show signs of laughter.

"The question you should be asking is 'why wasn't she in the kitchen'."

"That's terrible, Axel!"

"But you just said almost the exact same thing!"

"Yeah, but it's different when a girl says it!"

"… You were a dude two days ago! You honestly think it makes a difference now!"

"Uh, ya-doy!... Oh, Axel, I'm so sorry for being mean to you!"

"… What is this?"

"What? Axel, I thought you knew! You jerk! How could you have forgotten?" Saix slapped Axels face as hard as she could.

"What the hell, Saix?... Oh God, don't tell me!"

"Don't tell you what, Axel?" Saix's voice had taken a soft turn, one so sudden that it kinda creeped Axel out.

"Dude! You're acting like a girl!"

"*gasp* Take that back you son of a bitch!"

"There it is again! That reaction! I remember it from most of the girls from middle school! My other went through hell trying to get a lady friend, and that's how every single one of them reacted a week after the first date!"

"Dear God… Axel, you're right. I'm sorry bro. If I ever star PMSing again, I want you to pimp-slap me as hard as you can. Okay?"

"You know it. And by the way… OUCH! THAT HURT LIKE HELL!"

**Hey! Hope you enjoyed that chapter! Make sure you read and review. I'd love to know what made you laugh or what made you unhappy. By the way: Anyone who gets the Anime/Manga Reference in this chapter, send me a PM of which series you think it is, and what the Reference was, and if you're correct by the time I get done writing chapter 4,5, or 6, I'll give you a Radically Forbidden Shout-out.**

**Oh, and as for Saix's emotional instability, I've had that happen to me. I've been slapped around by most of the girls at my school. And I'm being Serious here, EVERY GIRL called me a SON OF A BITCH, because I didn't celebrate the fact that we had a date a week ago.**


	4. Plans and Pasta

**Let's be honest, no matter how much everyone wants me to own Disney or Square Enix, it'll never happen, and believe it or not, it might be for the best that I don't own it. I would screw the compsny by investing everything we had into the Hot Pocket companies.**

The Organization's Problem

Chapter 4

In Roxas' Bedroom… That Never Was… (Which had been turned back to the way it was before Namine had her fun with Roxas)

Roxas had just gotten away from all the madness of the other Organization XIII members, and decided that the thing he wanted to do most after winning a couple bucks from Xigbar, and getting to not eat his "dinner" he felt like taking a small (PUN AHEAD) cat nap. (THERE IT WAS! THAT WAS SO TOTALLY AN LOL MOMENT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) He crawled through the small doggy door that he had installed in case he ever got a dog.

_Man, am I sleepy. That lunch was horrible. And Lex's farts… *Shudder*. Well, I can forget about that for now. *yyaaawwwwwwnnnnn*_

Roxas expertly hopped onto his desk chair, and from that, onto his bed. He slumped down onto his pillow, wrapped his tail around himself, and he descended into the world of dreams… For a whole eight seconds.

_**Rocash! Rocash! I zound a buk thap was designed juft for pipple like ush! **_ Screamed Lexeaus as he came skidding in the room, a book in his mouth. Roxas' eyes ripped open at the sound of his fellow catd unnaturally deep voice.

_What. In. The. Name. Of. God. Did. You. Just. Say._ Lexeaus dropped the book on the floor, and looked at Roxas.

_**I found a book that was designed just for people like us.**_

_Really! You found a book about nobodies?_

… _**No. I meant like you and me. For people who've been turned into cats. It's about funny things to do.**_

_You enjoy fun, Lex? I thought your definition of a good time was staring at the wall._

_**No… That's a hobby, you dingle berry. This book is about Fun fun.**_

Roxas hopped off of his pillow, met Lex at the book, and read the cover.

_Things To Do If You are Turned Into A Cat… by Sheelby A. Moron. Heh, what a crappy name. It sounds like She'll be a moron._

_**Yes… It does. But that's beside the point. This is supposed to be the Bible for cat people.**_ Lexeaus eventually opened the cover, and after the fourteen pages of all copyright permissions, they got to Chapter 1: Annoyance.

_**There are five main types of annoyance: Worrying, Pestering, Snooping, fearing, and Repetitive.**_

_**Let's start with Part One: Worrying. If you have someone to look after you while in your cat form, and they know you're a real person, try and act like a real cat, get them worked up. Be prepared, though, they WILL call your bluff. You just have to hold your ground, I.E. Follow every cat-like instinct you have.**_

_**If you don't want to do that, you can act like you've lost a bit of your memory. This can easily be done by asking how you got to be a cat, and who you were before, although, to do this, you need an almost unreal ability to lie, and look innocent.**_

_**Part Two: Pestering. To do this, constantly ask your friend or family member if they've found a way to cure you, or if they have any fish. Be careful, though. Do this too many times, and you could get put into a box, or be sent off to a shelter.**_

_**Part Three: Snooping. The simplest way of accomplishing this is to crawl into drawers that you know someone will be using within the next three to five minutes. Careful, though, pick the wrong drawer, and you could get the living hell kicked out of you by a teenage girl. And if you go in too early or too late, they might not come back for a while, and you could get tired or hungry.**_

_**Part Four: Fearing. Act like a ghost cat or a deity. If you have power over them, they will fear you. But warning, if you're being too much of a jerk towards those you scare, they could begin an uprising against you, and you could get killed.**_

_**Part Five Repetitive: Constantly ask for the same food, object, or tell the same joke. Works relatively well, although it gets tiresome to tell a joke more than fifty or sixty times in a row.**_

_Lexeaus, if we're going to do this… we'd better start soon._ Roxas said with malice. He always had loved a good prank.

**In The Dining Room That Hasn't Had The Opportunity To Be…**

"I wonder where Roxas and Lexeaus are." Namine said aloud as she was passing out plates of pasta.

Everyone but the kittens and the hospitalized Marluxia was in attendance for the meal, even the man that was about to eat cat food, Xigbar. Xigbar had a defeated look on his face, maybe it came from the fact that he had bet, and lost, his cloak. Xemnas had a tired look on her face, most likely from the reassigning of missions. Xaldin had a… somehow depressed look on his Moogle face. Vexen just kept her usual look of blue steel as she awaited her pasta.

Zexion was still reading the Winnie the Pooh book, so might as well have no face. Saix just had her usual look of absolute nothingness, until she looked at the heart shaped moon, which brought a miniscule smirk to her face. Axel… was asleep, so he was as good as Zexion. Demyx was eyeing everyone else' spaghetti, searching for someone that might be getting more than he would be. Luxord was counting his new almost six grand, every which cent used to belong to Number II. Larxene had a scowl on his face, like usual. And Xion, she was like a miniature, black haired, girl version of Demyx, all hyper about her Italian meal.

" Smells good, Miss Nami." Xion said happily.

"Namine, could you pass me the parmesan?" asked Saix shyly.

Namine handed her the parmesan, but before she let go, Namine gave a death glare. "You take any more tonight," Namine whispered, "through the pepper-flakes in your eyes." Then a preceded a hefty silence, during which neither let go of the small canister of brand name cheese.

"…Thank you for letting go of the Parmesan, Namine." Saix mumbled through grinding teeth. Namine realized that she still had the parmesan cheese in her hand.

"Whoops. Sometimes I leave reality for a second." She quickly regained her composure prior to her quietly threatening Saix with pepper-flakes. Then she threw another death glare towards Saix and mouthed the words, "I will send you to hell if you ask for more Ragu."

The rest of dinner went on in silence, save for Xigbar's horrified gurgling as he started eating Roxas' cat food. And ten minutes later, when someone revived him. And five minutes after that.

"Excuse me, but can I have some Parmesan and some more Ragu?" asked Luxord, showing eyes that were easily part of a poker face that he had been concocting.

Namine made no move to threaten Luxord with pepper-flakes for the cheese, or eternal hell for Ragu. She just sprinkled a bit of the cheese on the Gambler's pasta, and evenly spread warm Ragu Tomato Sauce on his edibles. "There you go." She said with a smile that screamed ,'I didn't do anything bad at all. Nothing can be pinned on me… ever.'

Then Saix gave an eerie smile that said in response, 'She will kill me.'

Every person decided to scoot their chairs a few more inches away from Number Seven.

**Back In Roxas' Bedroom… **

_Yeah, We'll do that one. Soon enough, Vexen will try to cure us. We just have to use this when it fails miserably._

_**Yeah, but I don't think Vexen'll have enough for both of us. You can prank them. Are you sure you can follow the cat instinct? You might have to eat the food. *shiver***_

_Yeah, for the sake of Sheelby A. Moron… and you of course, I'll eat that douche in a can. Hey man, We've got things to do tomorrow. I'm gonna collapse as soon as my body gets on my pillow. G'night._

… _**In a not gay way, Night to you, too.**_

And Lexeaus left the room. Roxas used his catlike reflexes and quickly got to his pillow, and, as predicted, the moment he hit the soft, feather-filled sack, he fell unconscious.

**In Xemnas' Room…**

Xemnas entered her room with heavy eyelids. Today had been long for her. She had to deal with Namine, Saix, and Xigbar all complaining about something or other. But now, the day was over.

"*sigh* Man… really has been some day. Xigbar lost almost six thousand dollars to a seven year old that was cheating him out of his money, Marluxia was hospitalized because Larxene had broken his ribs and nose. Demyx was… Demyx. Time to sleep, though." She let out a loud, long, almost infectious yawn that seemed to resonate throughout the castle, as others lied down to rest as well.

Other than the song of tired souls, one Demyx, who went missing from the castle for several hours that day, sang.

Demyx lied on his bed, his sitar in his hands. "Maria! I met a girl named Maria! And now I see, She's not the bitch I'd thought she'd be! Maria!"

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter everyone! It took me a bit me time than the others, and it's a bit shorter, but that's why I make these so funny. For you. Hey guys, I NEED you to Review, as that's how I keep writing. It is my literal MOTIVATION to keep making this story. If you got the Movie reference for this chapter, PM me what you think it might be. If you haven't gotten it yet, here's a hint: Grumpier Old Men. If you get the reference right, I'll give you a Radically Forbidden Shout-Out in the next chapter, where I will introduce Demyx's new friend, Maria. Remember to Read and Review, and I'll see you all in the next chapter.**

**RFPR**


	5. Dyme and Maria

**Let's be honest, no matter how much everyone wants me to own Disney or Square Enix, it'll never happen, and believe it or not, it might be for the best that I don't own it. I would screw the company by investing everything we had into the Hot Pocket companies.**

The Organizations Problem

Chapter 5

**Guys, this chapter might be a little longer than the other ones, mostly due to the amount of content I wanted all of you to get. BTW this chapter is not considered funny. It will most likely be one of the only serious chapters in the entire story. Enjoy.**

Yesterday, Demyx, all alone in the Castle That Never Was, decided that he might as well pay a visit to the once wonderful world, Hollow Bastion, previously known as Radiant Garden. He preferred the latter of the names.

He opened a Dark Corridor, one of the large, black, extended spheres that lead into somewhere else, and he stepped through, right on front of the small apartment that had been rented out to eight people: Leon, Aerith, Yuffie, Cloud, Tiffa, Cid, Merlin, and a Moogle that looked like Xaldin.

But Demyx wasn't in the mood to pick on the dwellers. He proceeded to his favorite place in this world, The Baily. The Baily was a tiny rift in the blue rocks surrounding it. It had a beautiful mosaic tiled floor, though broken into large chunks at places, and the ruins of large, white, marble pillars that had long-since been abolished. At one point, the area might have once been a place of worship or the center of a large fountain, or a wedding ground.

Demyx liked the blue tiles of the Baily, because they reminded him of water. Water was soft, like a bed, and water couldn't hurt him, like a friend. Water was Demyx's friend. His only real friend. Ever since Demyx had become IX of Organization XII, all his partners had done is make fun of his sitar, and his mullet, and his love of H2O. It wasn't his fault though, he had been born into a nobody with water, and music.

Demyx was found as a simple nobody, floating on a sea of nothingness. When he awoke, all heard for the next few days while he wandered the dark beaches of nothingness was soft, sweet music. And still, to this day, though he could hear the world, it was still just white noise. Maybe that's why people thought he was stupid. Because he couldn't hear, he couldn't know what people were saying, and when he said, "What" to a question at the Organization, he was called an idiot. A Lower Intelligence.

Demyx hadn't gotten very much rest lately, and when he had reached the Baily, he released a loud, distracting yawn.

"Maybe," Demyx thought, "I can take a quick nap. Then… I can do something important. I'll go meet someone new." And Demyx lied down in the center of the mosaic circle, resting his head on the dense, hard, yet fairly comfortable, floor. He soon drifted into the realm of the dreams and fantasies.

A female voice cut through his dream. It sounded familiar. Maybe it was a friend of his Other. It started talking.

_Hey, Dyme, I've been thinking… about what you said earlier._

The voice was high, but not annoying. And, as she kept speaking, the audio was joined by a visual of a striking young woman. She had shoulder-length, jet black hair, a dazzlingly white smile, and she was beautiful. She possessed wrinkleless, spotless skin, that looked like if had been any fairer, it would be silk. They were in The Baily, and it was… intact. The mosaic showed pictures of the sea and the moon. And the pillars, they were almost as stunning as the woman in front of him. Twenty feet high, and made from absolutely sparkling grey and navy-blue marble.

Then, he heard his own voice, except maybe two or three years' worth of puberty squeakier.

_Yeah, and will you do it? _Said himself.

_Dyme. You know how much I love you, don't you?_ She asked him with a polite seriousness.

_Well, that depends. If you love me like I love you, I must be a pretty good person. _Dyme said. _**Heh, good one, Dyme. Real smooth. **_(AUTHORS NOTE: I will be doing more of these. When the Other talks, I will be using the Others name, not the Organization's name.)

_Dyme, all joking aside, if you love me, really __love__ me, as much as I love being with you, then, ask me one more time. Like you did before._

Dyme took a knee, and out of his blue-jean pocket, he pulled out a satin covered jewelry box. He slowly opened the box, revealing a long, pearl necklace, and a small, eight karat diamond ring. He gently tugged the ring out of the box, and help it up for the woman to see. He took a big gulp of his own saliva before talking.

Maria Thistle, would you do me the honor, of letting me be with spend the rest of my worthless life with you, the most beautiful person in the world?

Not even being done saying this, Dyme broke down into tears, but wiped them clean, waiting for his love's answer. Maria had also burst into a happy fit of crying. She calmed her breathing, closed her hands over her mouth.

Yes. She said, nearly choking on a lump in her throat. Dyme and she hold back the waterworks no longer. The both sank to the floor.

After a few minutes of the crying, they both gathered their composure, and exited The Baily, Dyme's left hand enclosed around Maria's right. Though it was in first person, he could tell that Dyme was grinning wildly.

Then, the image blurred, like being washed away. Now, he was back at the Baily, except it had been decorated. All around and tied to the pillars were streamers of white and gold and blue. He was standing at the base of two stairs that lead up to an alter and a minister. All in front of him, there were now pews placed at the entrance of the Blue Rift. There were people almost falling out of the pews, they were so overstuffed.

Dyme was wearing a black tuxedo, and the slightly shorter man next to him wore something similar. After a few moments, an organ started to softly play "Here Comes the Bride" He looked at the entrance of The Baily, as did all the pew sitters.

And there, walking down the aisle, dressed in a white dress, a veil covering most of her face from view, was Maria. Dyme took a big swallow of spit as Maria drew closer to him. Though her face was a blurr, he could tell that she was smiling as she final settled next to him.

The minister cleared his throat.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God in Paradise, and into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined."

"Therefore if any man can show any just cause, why they may not un-lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace."

No one raised a hand. (Guys, sorry 'bout this, but I'm going to skip to where they're almost done talking.)

…

The Minister cleared his throat again.

"Do you take Dyme Silto to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Maria gave a look of uncertainty at Dyme, but it turned into a grin. She looked at the Minister again, and said with confidence, "I do."

Then the Minister rotated himself until he faced Dyme. Someone in the pews started hearing a river that had never existed before.

"And do you take Maria Thistle to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Before Dyme could answer though, the friends and family in the pews had turned to find the sound of the river. But as it got louder and louder, everyone could tell something was wrong. But, what came through the entrance was a tidal wave.

As it hit the alter, almost all the pews and decorations had already been swept off a cliff by the power of the currents. It seemed that Maria had been able to swim over to a large rock, and was now hanging on for dear life. But Dyme, it seemed, was not so lucky. He had been hit with one of the pews, and now was barely conscious.

Seconds before he was swept off of the cliff, half dead, Dyme did all he could to say the last two words he would ever be able to give to his beloved.

"I do!" He tried to swim to her, but he was already off the cliff, falling and thirty-two feet per second. Then, he started to hear music. It was soft and sweet, like warm honey… like water.

A voice broke through his dream. It was familiar.

"Hey. Hey guy, you're sleeping on a rock." It said. So familiar.

He opened his eyes.

"Hey, you're awake. You've been sleeping on that rock all day." She said. Then, Demyx saw her.

"Maria!" She stared at him for a second.

"How did you know my name?" she asked suspiciously.

"It's Dyme! It's Demyx! It's me." She gave him another stare. Though, this one said, "You're crazy."

"Dyme? Demyx? Sorry guy, but, if I knew you, I don't remember. I lost all of my memory a few years ago."

"So… so you don't remember me at all?" Demyx asked pleadingly.

"I' sorry, but, I don't. But, if you'd like to, we could be friends again." She stuck out her hand, ready for Demyx to shake it. He gave her a big, toothy grin and closed his eyes. He shook her hand softly.

He looked up at the sky.

"Oh, hell! Sorry for having to run, but I gotta go. I hope I see you again, Maria!" He ran out of the Baily, leaving his tiled floors and crush columns. He quickly opened a Dark Corridor and stepped through… right into the Dining Room.

"Why Demyx," asked Namine, about to start handing out spaghetti, "Where've you been all day? The toilet got clogged."

He gave her a bit of a joking frown.

"Sorry. I was at a wedding."

"Awe. I love weddings. Who was the lucky couple?"

"Heh. Namine, they were both old friends."

**Well, guys, here's Chapter Five. Feel free to ask questions about this one, 'cause I'm ready to answer. There is not reference in this chapter, so no Radically Forbidden shout-out. Guys, remember to read and review. Especially review, because the reviews are my ONLY motivation for writing. Thanks, and I'll see you in the next chapter,**

**RFPR**


	6. Tennis Balls And Dissapointment

**Let's be honest, no matter how much everyone wants me to own Disney or Square Enix, it'll never happen, and believe it or not, it might be for the best that I don't own it. I would screw the company by investing everything we had into the Hot Pocket companies.**

The Organization's Problem

Chapter 6

_**Sorry for the wait. I don't know why, but for some reason I couldn't stay focused when I was writing this chapter. I wish I knew why I couldn't consentr- Ohh! Look, Shiny thing! OH, AND THIS CHAPTER IS A BIT SHORT!**_

**In The Living Room With A Slightly Used And Uncomfortable Sofa That Possibly Is…**

Xion was happily watching Sesame Street, snuggled into a small throw-pillow hut. Saix came in the Living Room and turned off the TV.

"Hey!" Xion complained, "It was almost over, now I won't know how It ends."

"Xion, you need to reading or drawing or doing something outside, today."

After a few minutes of awkward silence, during which neither girl moved an inch, Xion spoke up.

"Hey Saix, you wanna hear a story?"

Saix gave her the eye. This might be a trick.

"Sure."

Xion cleared her throat.

"So there's a man, and his son in going into First Grade. And the dad says, 'Okay son, you're going into the First Grade. Now, this is a big year, and if you get straight A's, I'll get you anything you want.' So the son made all A's and the dad asked, 'Alright, son. You made all A's, so, what do you want?' The son looked up at his dad and said, 'I want a tennis ball.' So the dad gave him a tennis ball.

Then, the son was going into Second Grade, and the dad said, 'Alright, son, you're going into Second Grade. Now, if you make all A's this year, I'll get you whatever you want.' The son made all A's. 'Good job, son. Now, what do you want as a reward?' the son looked up at him and said, 'I want TWO tennis balls.' The dad gave him two tennis balls.

Now the son was going into Third Grade, and the dad said, 'Alright, son, you're going into Third Grade. Now, if you make all A's this year, I'll get you whatever you want.' The son made all A's. 'Good job, son. Now, what do you want as a reward?' the son looked up at him and said, 'I want THREE tennis balls.' The dad gave him three tennis balls.

Then, the son was going into Fourth Grade, and the dad said, 'Alright, son, you're going into Fourth Grade. Now, if you make all A's this year, I'll get you whatever you want.' The son made all A's. 'Good job, son. Now, what do you want as a reward?' the son looked up at him and said, 'I want FOUR tennis balls.' The dad gave him four tennis balls.

Then, the son was going into Fifth Grade, and the dad said, 'Alright, son, you're going into Fifth Grade. Now, if you make all A's this year, I'll get you whatever you want.' The son made all A's. 'Good job, son. Now, what do you want as a reward?' the son looked up at him and said, 'I want FIVE tennis balls.' The dad gave him five tennis balls.

Then, the son was going into Sixth Grade, and the dad said, 'Alright, son, you're going into Middle School. Now, if you make all A's this year, I'll get you whatever you want. Whatever game, a new bike, whatever you want.' The son made all A's. 'Good job, son. Now, what do you want as a reward?' the son looked up at him and said, 'I want SIX tennis balls.' The dad gave him six tennis balls.

Then, the son was going into Seventh Grade, and the dad said, 'Alright, son, you're going into Seventh Grade. Now, if you make all A's this year, I'll get you whatever you want. Whatever new bike, whatever you want.' The son made all A's. 'Good job, son. Now, what do you want as a reward?' the son looked up at him and said, 'I want SEVEN tennis balls.' The dad gave him seven tennis balls.

The son was getting ready for Eighth Grade, and the dad said, 'Son, I'm not sure why you keep asking for tennis balls, and I've never seen you play tennis, either, but, if you make straight A's this year, I will get you ANYTHING.' So the son got straight A's, and, surprise, he said 'dad, I'd love to get EIGHT tennis balls.' The dad gave him eight tennis balls.

So now the Ninth Grade rolled around, and the dad said, 'Okay, son, you're in high school now. You're turning fifteen. If you make A's this year, you can have absolutely ANYTHING you want.' The son makes straight A's. The dad says 'nice job, now, what is it that you want this year?' Then, the son says 'You know what I would like? NINE tennis balls. So the dad gives him nine tennis balls.

So now the kid is in Tenth Grade, 'Alright, you're in Tenth Grade now! You're turning sixteen this year, and if you get all A's, I will get you ANY car that you want.' The son makes straight A's. The son looks at his dad and tells him, 'You know, instead of a car, could I get TEN tennis balls?' The dad gave him ten tennis balls.

It's time for Eleventh Grade. 'Son, you're almost out of school, and if you get perfect scores this year, anything you want, and I mean ANYTHING, will be yours.' The son got perfect scores. 'Son, what do you want? A car? a computer? A trip to New York?' 'No, dad. I'd like to have ELEVEN tennis balls.' And the dad gave him eleven tennis balls.

'Son, this is your last year of school. You've always done good, but this year, it might get more difficult. If you make straight A's here, you'll be valedictorian, and you could go to any college in the country. Promise me this, though. If you do make all A's this year, that you will NOT ask for twelve tennis balls, okay?' 'okay, dad. I promise that I won't ask for twelve tennis balls.' The son made straight A's.

'Alright son! Now what do you want? What is it? And remember, you can't ask for twelve tennis balls.' 'yeah, dad, I'm way too mature to ask for twelve lousy tennis balls… that's why I'm going to ask for a truckload of tennis balls.' The dad was astounded. All his son had wanted all his life were tennis balls.

One day, when the father was inside, reading the paper, and the son was out driving his truck of tennis balls, the dad heard a horrible screeching, and then an explosion. He hurried outside to see what it was, and to his misfortune, his son's truck had toppled over, and there was fire and tennis balls everywhere. He made his way to the cab of the truck, where the son was bleeding heavily.

'Son… you're going to get through this.' 'No dad, I'm not going to make it.' The father looked at his son. 'Then, before you pass on, please tell me why. Tell me why you wanted the tennis balls. What were you going to do with them?

The son chuckled. 'Sure dad, I'll tell you why I wanted the tennis balls. The reason I wanted all of the tennis balls' he took a deep breath, 'the reason I wanted them was because…'

And then he died." Xion finished. She immediately burst out laughing at the ending to her story.

Saix looked distressed, like someone had just thrown brick at her face.

"NOOOOOOOO! It can't end like that! How does it end? What does the son say? I need the ending!"

"Well guess what?" Xion said. "I wanted to see the ending to Sesame Street. Now we're even."

**Hey guys! Hope you liked it! Just a bit of filler, seeing as how I haven't really focused on Xion Lately. By the way, this is what's known as "The Tennis Ball Joke" Please try not to use it, as it belongs to my Youth Pastor. Well, remember to Read and Review, as those are the only reasons that I write. Your opinions matter to me.**


	7. Hershal James

**Let's be honest, no matter how much everyone wants me to own Disney or Square Enix, it'll never happen, and believe it or not, it might be for the best that I don't own it. I would screw the company by investing everything we had into the Hot Pocket companies.**

The Organization's Problem

Chapter 7

_I can't really think of anything to say at the beginning of this chapter, so… I got the demo for Dream Drop Distance, and it is SO AWESOME!1_

**Day Two Of New Bodies; Morning: Xaldin/Namine.**

"Yes, I get that it can be worse, Namine. *Kupa* My point is I hate being a Moogle." Xaldin was pissed-off at his new body. If he forgot, at random points in the day, he would float up to the ceiling. Sure, to others it was funny, but to the guy that needs to whizz, it's like being kicked in the nuts and then spat on. Okay… maybe not EXACTLY like that, but similar.

"But Xaldin, now you're so cute. And you don't look like you want to eat Little Red Riding Hood. (PS, if you know why I put this in, you're awesome.) Aren't you glad that people don't come up to you and say, 'Are you Jacob's brother?'"

"I hate being called cute. And I am sorta relieved that I haven't been asked that. *Kupa* But now, people come up to me and ask if I can make them a Twilight Shard. I don't really think that someone asking for a shard is a real step up. *Kupa*" He said this last sentence with regret. Regret that could barely be noticed, what with the oh-so-ridiculous voice.

Namine gave him a small smirk. Xaldin didn't like where this was going. Then, she pulled out the big guns. She gave him the quivering lip. If there was one thing as cute as Xaldin, it was Roxas. But if there was something else just as cute, it had to be that stupid, retarded, horribly adorable face that Namine pulled when she was about to ask for something BIG.

"So, Xaldin…" she gave him big, puppy-dog eyes, "Would you do me a favor? It's something only you can do." The eyes only got bigger from there.

"_Resist." _He told himself. _"Millions of male parents everywhere are getting this look as well. Stay strong, Xaldin. Refuse. REFUSE!"_

"Sure!" he said. "_Dammit." _He thought._ "Not strong enough."_

"Great." She waved him closer, and closer, and closer. Xaldin put his head next to her mouth. She whispered something in his ear.

"… Hell. No. Hell to the N-O! I am NOT doing that. Find yourself another Moogle for that. Nuh-Uh."

Two Minutes, Forty-Three Seconds Later…

"_How in the name of God did I get myself into this?" _Xaldin thought to himself as the toilet paper finally gave away. The toilet finally flushed.

"Namine, *Kupa* why did you say that only I could do this? Why couldn't you get one of the damn HUMAN nobodies to do this?"

"Because, you haven't done anything since you became a Moogle. You're getting lazy. And you're being a real douchebag whenever someone says how cute you are. You need to accept your new body for now, just like everybody else has." She had a point. What else had Xaldin done for the last couple of days other than nothing?

Though this was a valid point, the oh-so prideful Number Three could not accept the fact of being wrong. Not once so far in his… not existence had he ever been considered incorrect. And he sure as hell wasn't going to start now.

"What you don't realize, Namine, is that I HAVE been doing things since everybody transformed."

She gave him a look that said 'yeah… sure you have' "Like what?" she asked.

Though they were like slits, Namine could tell that his eyes were shifting heavily from side to side. "I've been, um… trying to find a cure for everyone's illnesses. So far, though, I don't have any leads... Or any idea as to what's happened… Or any witnesses… Or clues…" Xaldin went on like this for about ten more minutes.

"… Or if Chocolate Mocha latté is an actual thing… or if a-" he was interrupted be a sudden feeling of being strangled by a preteen, the origin of which might have been Namine, who was currently wringing then neck of our favorite Moogle.

"I get it, you're a damn moron! Just shut the hell up! You don't know anything that could be interpreted as "knowledge" or "helpful". But I don't want to know about everything that you don't. Do you realize that you are going to shut up when I let go of your neck?" He gave a tiny nod before Namine let go. He took a huge breathe of oxygen and started coughing.

"Good. Now come on, we're going to get some groceries."

**Day Two of New Bodies**

**In The Library That Never Was…**

"Zexion… what are you doing?" asked Vexen as she entered the marble floored library. She took a few more steps before Zexion answered.

"I'd think it pretty obvious. I'm reorganizing the library. It looks as if it hasn't been done in years." He picked up another book out of a basket he was carrying. "The Art by T. K. Oswald."

"Why?" Vexen asked, giving him a wondering look. Zexion slid the book into the bottom shelf.

"Will anybody else be cleaning it?"

"No. But that doesn't answer my question. Why are you doing this?"

"Do I really need a reason?" He gave Vexen the most unlike Zexion face ever… a cute one.

"Yes. You do need a reason. Now."

"Are you sure that you need one?" Vexen bent down to match eye height with the seven year old.

"Yes."

"Now?"

"Yes."

"And it's going to be about why I'm reorganizing the library?"

"It should be."

"Okay, I've got one. Are you ready to hear it?"

"Yes." Vexen was getting impatient. She squinted at the kid.

"Okay. Here it is. The reason why I was reorganizing the library was becau-"

"Vexen!" The silver-haired Superior yelled from behind the Library doors, "Come. Out. Here. Now."

"Hold on a sec, Superior! Zexion, tell me why. Why?" Zexion opened his mouth slowly, letting a good five seconds pass before he actually spoke.

"I. Did. It. Because. I. wanted. To. Piss. Someone. Off." Several seconds passed before Vexen made her move to have the child in something between a Full-Nelson and a Chinese-Choke-Hold.

"YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" She yelled furiously. "Why in hell did you think that organizing the library would piss someone off?"

He chuckled with the little air that he had left, and gave Vexen a witty smile before he finally passed out.

Literally Four Seconds Later…

"DAMN IT! NOW HOW WILL I KNOW WHY HE WANTED TO PISS SOMEO-" Before she could finish her psychotic rant, however, the Chinese-Choke-Hold/Full-Nelson that she had used on Zexion had returned to haunt her, as Xemnas came from behind and started using it on her.

"I TOLD YOU TO COME OUT THERE! NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE YOU BUTTPIRATE!" But, before she could finish HER rant, Vexen too had blacked out due to lack of oxygen.

"Damn," Xemnas said, breathing heavily from her feat of strength and fury, "now how am I supposed to tell her to start working on a cure?"

**Three hours later… In The Living Room With A Slightly Used And Uncomfortable Sofa That Possibly Is…**

"… But yeah Xemnas, it's a lot of work trying to do this alone. I need an assistant to help me out with the cure."

Vexen (after regaining consciousness) and Namine (After losing Xaldin at the market) had been trying to convince the Superior that they needed help to do the things around the house.

"So… you," she said, pointing at Namine, "need an assistant for help cleaning, cooking, and other help around the house. And you," she pointed at Vexen, "need help to find a cure. Hmmmmm. I think I know the right guy for the job. I can't believe I'm calling _him _in."

The two girls requesting help tilted their heads in wonder.

"Who is he?" Both girls asked in unison. Xemnas gave them a forbidding stare.

"What's with the creepy face?" Namine asked.

"Girls, do you remember that story I told you about where I went to ComiCon and that one guy with the ARMY hat punched me in the face?"

They both nodded. The Superior had insulted some videogame, and the ARMY hat guy had turned around and broke the superiors jaw. Later the Superior went to beat the hell out of him, and Xemnas had come back a few hours later looking like he had gone through a paper shredder. When they asked him what had happened, it turned out that the ARMY hat guy HAD put Xemnas through a paper shredder.

"Well, right before we started our fight-"

Namine interrupted. "Right before you had your ass handed to you, gift wrapped, you mean."

If looks could kill, the face that Xemnas made at Namine would have been the equivalent of an atom bomb.

"… like I was saying, right before the," Namine gave her a pleased look, "the ass whooping, I saw his business card that was hanging out of his wallet. As it turned out, he's a professional at childcare and he was in the midst in creating a super infectious disease that could have no cure."

The two stared at him until Namine spoke up. "So… why would we need an incurable disease?"

"No, you moron. He's a hero in the medical field. He made an incurable disease, which means he might be smart enough to make a cure for this one."

Vexen stared at him with plates like saucers. "Wait a sec. You had the living hell beaten out of you by Hershal James?"

"… Maybe."

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait. So, Hershal James, a scientist that created an incurable disease, is also a professional at handling small children, cooking, and cleaning?"

"Yes. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get his phone number."

"Well that's okay, Superior." Vexen said calmly. "He and I are good friends. He and I go way back to second grade. A few years ago he told me about some moron that had insulted a videogame, and he beat the living… stuff out of him. I never thought your story and his were connected."

"Wait. You know that Douchebag? Why didn't you think of him before?"

"Eh, what can I say? I forget. A Lot." Vexen picked up the cordless phone and punched in ten quick numbers. Five rings later, a male voice connected.

"Hey Hershal, it's Vexen." Namine and Xemnas could hear a glad voice shout from the other end of the line. "Hey, man. Can you to me a solid? Actually, man, I need help isolating a cure for this disease that I discovered, and you were the first name that came to mind. Yeah. No. Thanks man, I live in that big white castle with that really dark city around it. No. No, that's because of the disease. Thanks man. See you later."

Vexen beeped off the phone and looked at the Superior and Namine with a wide smile. "He'll do it. He says he'll be here soon."

Hey guys and gals! Wazzup! So, how'd you like it? Hey if you liked it, put a review of what you liked, and I'll see if I can add that element in the next chapter. I think that's all that I really need to put here, so, until the next chapter, Read, Review, and just keep being Radical,

**RFPR.**


	8. I Don't Know What To Name This Chapter

**Let's be honest, no matter how much everyone wants me to own Disney or Square Enix, it'll never happen, and believe it or not, it might be for the best that I don't own it. I would screw the company by investing everything we had into the Hot Pocket companies.**

The Organization's Problems  
Chapter 8

Sorry, I couldn't focus with this one for very long, so it's going to be a bit shorter. And I also had to take my time, what with having to make Hershal from scratch. But, here it is, so, enjoy.

Outside of the Castle, a large white and black gummi ship had landed just off the outskirts of the glowing blue bridge. A small teenager, maybe thirteen or fourteen by the look of him, stepped out of the ship, looking winded and nauseous.

"Oh, God," he said. "I hate vehicular transportation." He wobbled off to the side of the ship and vomited. When he had finished puking, he gathered his composure and stood looking at the castle. "Well Even, Hershal is here." Then, the boy and his green ARMY hat took off running up the bridge.

**Vexen's Lab… Bum Bum Bummmmmm**

Vexen was stirring a large beaker filled with an almost glowingly green substance that seemed to only get thicker and Roxas, the blonde kitten, was quietly sitting on the sanitary, silver, metallic tables, awaiting Vexen's word. When she was done stirring, the substance was about as thick as refrigerated honey.

"Alright, Roxas," Vexen said, "I think that this might be able to help you turn back." She put the beaker down, eyeing the unmoving cat.

The cat gave him the eye right back. Then he said, _Are you kidding? That stuff looks like it's what keeps the fiery pit in hell nice and warm._

"Come on, Roxas, you're being ridiculous. Just try it. It'll work, I promise."

_Why don't you drink it then, Captain Scientist?_

"No way I'm drinking that hell fuel."

_SEE!_ Roxas pointed out.

"Look, Rox-"

"Even!... I mean… Even's sister!" yelled a young happy voice. The boy with the ARMY hat had made it through the doors. "Where's Even?" he asked, completely clueless of the transformation.

"… I'm Even." Vexen said, giving Hershal a stare that said 'duh, moron'. "But I go by Vexen now."

"No, Even was a dude… unless… why didn't you tell me you had an operation?"

"I didn't have an operation, you moron! This is the disease I was talking about!" A moment of awkward silence filled the room until the cat talked.

_Hai thar! Mah name iz Roxas, and I also have the disease!_

Hershal gave Roxas a wondering eye, and then responded. "Even! Something strange is going on here. I hate to say it, but I'll have to find a cure for this cat's talking disease before I cure your transforming one. I've got to have a good top priority.

"…" Vexen gave Hershal a stare meant to say 'seriously'.

"Sorry, but it's for science, my old friend. Tell me, oh, Magical Kitten, why is it that you seek to speak?"

_Yo, I'm really a human. I'm part of Vexen's Disease._

Five Seconds Later…

"Dear God! It's a magical Cat that thinks it's people! This is truly a great day for science! Tell me, what is your name?"

"Um, Hershal… Roxas is a real person. Everybody in the castle was turned into something like this. A few of us had our genders swapped, three of us were turned into children, Roxas and one other were turned into kittens, and one of us was transformed into a Moogle."

A few seconds passed until Hershal hung gis head low and said in a depressed voice, "Oh... alright. No magic cat. I guess I can deal with that." He then walked over to a corner of the lab, sit down, head on his knees, and started to whimper. What a weirdo.

After Ten Minutes Of This, Hershal Came Out Of The Corner…

"Sorry. I just always wanted a magical cat. So, all the people in this place have gone through strange transformations, eh? So… Vexen was it?"

"Yes. And I need you to help me with a cure."

"No problem, man. Let's get started. Where do you keep your powdered snake jaws?"

Roxas hopped off the counter as the two scientists began their look for strange ingrediants.

_I think I'll go hang out with Xion._

**In The Living Room With A Slightly Used And Uncomfortable Sofa That Possibly Is…**

"Please Xion! Tell me why the son wanted all the tennis balls! I already let you watch an entire season of that God forsaken show, My Little Pony. (This isn't my opinion, I just thought that it would be funny.) Just tell me why!" It had been around six hours since Xion had told the Tennis Ball story, and in all that time, Saix had asked for the right conclusion every other minute.

"To Hell with you, oh foul TV-Turner-Offer." Xion said, pointing an accusing finger at Number 7.

"Where in the Name of God did you learn to talk like that?" Saix asked, obviously puzzled by the King's English.

"Duth it really matter-eth? Now, to Hell!"

"Hi Xion!" said the blonde kitten as he strode into the living room. He skillfully maneuvered his way onto the gray sofa, making his way to Xion's side.

"Hi Mr. Kitty." She began scratching his back, and he toppled onto his side, meanwhile, Saix had gone into a corner and started whimpering about how she wanted the end of the story. Baby.

_Hey Xion, _Roxas said, _My name isn't Mister Kitty. The name's Roxas. Got it memorized?_

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Screamed a red-headed fury as he swept up Roxas and began shaking him madly. "That's my catchphrase! Get your own yo-" though, he could not quite finish his threat of stolen thunder due to the large claymore now stabbed into his head.

...

"! Saix you slut! What the hell did I do?"

Saix had ruby-red circles for eyes as she replied, "Don't teach young children swears you asshole!"

"God! Saix you jus- Ow! What the hell Xion?" Xion had summoned her Kingdom Key and bashed Axel in the shin.

"You hurt Roxy. Heal!" two glowing green bells appeared over Axel, and he immediately felt better.

"Hey, thanks Xio- Oh God! What the hell did I do that time!" Xion had just slammed her keyblade into Axels crotch. Saix, meanwhile, punched him in the gut.

"I told you to shut the hell up and stop swearing!" Axel toppled onto the floor, writhing in pain from the punch to the stomach and hit to his cojones.

"OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! DEAR GOD, PLEASE FINISH ME OFF ALREADY! AGHHHH, THE PAIN! YOU BUT PIRATES!"

"Axel," Saix asked, "are you allergic to nuts?" She somehow kept a completely straight face while asking him this.

"No, *sniff* why?"

"'Cause if you don't shut up, I'll kick yours up into your damn throat."

"Hey guys, I'm back! The guys at the Hospital just released me a few minu- Oh God! What happened to Axel?" said the now completely healed Marluxia.

"He didn't speak kindly." Said Saix, giving Marluxia the eye. She held out her claymore. "Follow in his foot-steps, flower-boy. I dare ya."

_This is getting good. _said Roxas, still enjoying the fight from the comfort of the couch.

Hey guys, like I said, It's about 700 words shorter than what I'd like it to be, but whatever. Hop you enjoyed it. Oh! And in this one, I added I slight Reference to the Saturday Night Live with Bryan Cranston. If you can find it and PM me what you think it is, you rock. And if it's correct, I'll give you a Radically-Forbidden Shout-Out in the next chapter.

**So until the next chapter, Read, Review, and just keep being Radical, **

**RFPR.**


	9. Me and Chuggalugging

**Let's be honest, no matter how much everyone wants me to own Disney or Square Enix, it'll never happen, and believe it or not, it might be for the best that I don't own it. I would screw the company by investing everything we had into the Hot Pocket companies.**

The Organization's Problems

Chapter 9

**Hey everybody, dory for the VERY late update. Please forgive me, as I've been rather busy the last few days. By the way, "plonkle/plonkling/plonkled is my word. It means to set something down.**

**Day Three…**

"Okay… should I even ask how did this happened?"

Xemnas had just entered the joined rooms of Marluxia, Saix, Axel, Luxord, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Hershal, and for some reason, Sora the Keyblade Wielder.

"How the hell did I end up in here!" Screamed Sora when Xemnas came in.

"Like I said. Should I ask how this happened?" Immediately everyone but Sora spoke up. It was all just a bunch of jibber-jabber unless you were looking for one individual voice. "SHUT UP!" Everyone did. "Now, one at a time, you're going to tell me what happened, and if you act up, I will stab you in the face. Marluxia, you'll go first."

"Superior, Saix beat the hell out of me because I swore in front of Xion." Saix gave Marluxia a death glare, obviously noting the "hell" in her sentence.

"Alright," Xemnas said, "That sounds acceptable. Axel, how about you?"

Axel was still holding his crotch from the pain induced by a seven year old ramming a keyblade onto his crotch.

"Um… Superior? Axel was hit in the balls and gut by Xion and Saix."

"Good enough. Xigbar, what happened to you and Ten?"

"I figured out this little bastard was cheating and we beat the bloody hell out of each other." Luxord nodded in agreement, as if he hadn't just been hospitalized.

"Fine. Xaldin, what in the word happened to you? You look like you were dropped onto a highway during rush-hour." For short, he had long black marks streaked all along his tiny body, and his little red head ball had gone flat.

"Namine lost me at Wal-Mart, and I was ran over by a small army of soccer moms trying to get on sale Cheese-it's for the noon game."

"What?" Xemnas said urgently, "Why wasn't I told that Wal-Mart had Cheese-It's on sale? DAMN ITTTTTTT! Okay, Vexen, what happened to… you?" Xemnas gave an angry stare at Hershal. "Hello there, Hershal. Remember me?"

A few moments passed with Hershal either scratching his head or rubbing his chin.

"Nope, sure don't, Lady. But you remind me of this real loser I met at ComiCon a few years back. 'Cept he was real ugly. I mean _UGLY_. I think he'd have been related donkeys, but I figured out that he wasn't, seeing as how a donkey can put up a struggle in a fight. But that guy, what a weakling, I mean, he was absolutely pathetic."

Xemnas' eyes had gone a dark shade of red, and she wore a sinister smile that that Hershal couldn't see.

"That's right, asshole, keep digging yourself a deeper hole." Xemnas cracked her knuckles loudly

Vexen leaned over to his old pal, tapped his shoulder, and started whispering something to him. What Vexen said might have been along the lines of "Shut up that's him." Or "Shut the hell up you A-hole! That's the guy whose ass you kicked. He wants to kill you, and you're immobilized and laying on a freaking gurney."

Two Minutes Later…

"I give! I give! Just stop it!" said Hershal, trying to heal a bloody nose while escaping a head-lock.

Xemnas released him from the lock, allowing him to breathe once more.

"Alrighty then. Now, Vexen, what did you say happened to you?"

Vexen took a nervous gulp. Never before had she seen the Superior use such violent means of torture on an incapacitated person.

"Well… You see… um, when Hershal and I were formulating which chemicals to use in the cure, a bunch of ninjas came in and did this to us."

After a moment of silence, Xemnas walked up to Vexen, gave her a pitiful look, and elbowed her in the stomach.

"DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO ME! WHAT THE HELL WOULD NINJAS BE DOING IN THE CASTLE!"

"Soup…earer…reary…nen...gas…peace…st…hobbit."

"What?" asked Xemnas, giving a goofy smile and scratching the back of her head. "Maybe I hit you a bit too hard. Were you just trying to tell me something about the Lord of the Rings, because I heard the hobbit part."

Vexen took a large breathe, "Superior, really, ninjas, and stop it."

"Okay then. I'll kill those damn ninjas if they stole my Cheese-It's. Oh… Sora, what happened to you?"

"Meh," he said shrugging, "Probably something to do with the AUTHOR needing a fresh character to use for comic relief."

"Wait a sec! I thought I was the new comic relief!" yelled a distressed Hershal.

"**NO, HERSHAL, YOU ARE NOT THE NEW COMIC RELIEF. SORA AND I ARE HERE FOR THAT. YOU ARE HERE FOR THE CURE, AND NOTHING ELSE."** I said, growing tired of not having a part in the story.

"Who the hell was that?" asked Xemnas, trying to locate the origin of my voice.

"That was the AUTHOR. He's the guy who dictates everything in our side of Kingdom Hearts."

Xemnas raised a fist towards the ceiling. "Well he's a real douchebag!"

I grew angry with the silver-haired man-turned-woman. **"IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE HELL UP, I WILL WRITE THAT YOU ARE NOW PREGNANT."**

Xemnas went into hiding in the corner, shutting up as she went.

"See you later, RFPR!"

"**GOOD-BYE, SORA, I LOOK FORWARD TO OUR NEXT MEETING. BY THE WAY, SORRY ABOUT EARLIER, AXEL."** everyone heard a barrage of clacking sounds that came from nowhere, and Sora and Axel (and even Axel's nearly broken frijoles) were completely healed, and out of their gurneys.

"Thanks RFPR!" both of the healed said in unison.

"So… how are we going to transition into the next part of the story?" asked Marluxia.

"**I HAVE AN IDEA. I CAN TRANSITION VERY WELL." **More clacking sounds came from nowhere.

**Several Hours Later And Back At The Castle That Never Was And Stuffs…**

…

"Wait a sec! What the hell am I doing here?" screamed Sora urgently.

"**I ALREADY TOLD YOU, YOU'RE THE NEW COMIC RELIEF. NOW SHUT UP AND ROLL WITH IT."**

"Okay," Xemnas said pulling out her keys, "let's get inside. It's hot out here." As they approached the large gray and other black doors, everyone started to hear muffled yelling.

Xemnas pushed open the doors and was taken away by the sheer amount of voices. There must have been five dozen people all chanting the same thing in unison.

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" That's all anybody could hear until they reached the living room.

Down on the floor, lying on their backs, long plastic tubes that led up to funnels in their mouths, sat Xion, Roxas, Larxene, and Demyx.

Each person had a gallon of different liquid being poured into their funnels. Roxas had what looked like whole milk, Xion seemed to have either beer or apple juice, Demyx almost certainly had a pack of Mike's, and as far as anyone could tell, Larxene was drinking tequila.

"Damn it. Why wasn't I invited to this drinking contest?" Sighed Xigbar.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" yelled the superior, almost instantly silencing the crowd of people, save for one young man that unfortunately was standing next to Xemnas. He had a half empty whisky bottle in his right hand, and about four hundred bucks in the other, and out of his mouth still came the chugging cheer.

"Damn it. Why wasn't I told there would be gambling?" sighed Luxord.

Though the yell of the crowd had ceased, the chugging still commencing.

Xemnas gripped the happy drinker by his shirt and lifted his a few inches off the ground. "I'll ask again you bastard. What. The. Hell. Is. This."

His face went immediately sober. "Hey! What the hell, bitch! It's just a party. Just chill."

"Finished!" yelled a female voice. Xion stood up, well tried at least, but ended with just holding up her empty gallon bottle. The crowd came back, louder than before, and now it wasn't organized. It was just wild cheering. Maybe Xion wasn't drinking the apple juice. Xemnas released the drinker.

After a few moments of stumbling around, Xion passed out. A guy from the crowd picked Xion up in a fireman's carry and plonkled her on the slightly uncomfortable sofa.

"Done!" said the other three drinkers in unison. They showed their empty bottles, and the crowd cheered a little more.

The guy who set Xion on the couch stepped into the middle of the drinkers held up his hands, and said, "Winner: Xion!"

"Alright!" yelled Xemnas, "Now that you've gotten these underage drinkers wasted, you all have to get the hell out of here before I stick all your heads in the person next to yours ass."

The people sped out of the room so fast that they almost left skid marks. Xemnas stomped over to the three losers of the contest.

"What the hell? I left for eight hours and you begin a party and drinking contest? Where's Lexeaus? I put him in charge, and he lets this happen.

_**Superior.**_ Said a curly voice in Xemnas' head, _**I'm sorry I couldn't stop them.**_

"Where the hell are you?"

_**Look up.**_

Xemnas glanced at the ceiling, and there stood Lexeaus.

"Get down from there." Xemnas said bluntly.

_**I can't, Larxene glued my feet to the ceiling.**_

"Hmmm… alright then! You'll just have to stay there until the glue wears out. So…Who wants some cheerios?"

**Well, not the ending I wanted, but it'll work, I guess. Again, sorry for the lateness. Oh, and could you just take a second and fill out my poll that resides on my profile. Thanks.**

**So until the next chapter, Read, Review, and just keep being Radical, **

**RFPR.**


	10. Wha Zup!

**Let's be honest, no matter how much everyone wants me to own Disney or Square Enix, it'll never happen, and believe it or not, it might be for the best that I don't own it. I would screw the company by investing everything we had into the Hot Pocket companies.**

The Organization's Problems

Chapter 10

**Okay, now before I start this chapter, I'd like to say thanks to anyone that's decided to stay with the story thus far. I'm sorry for the irregular updates, but I'm going through a hard time and, frankly, it's making me lose all my concentration. **

**BEFORE I FORGET: Pleasepleaseplease just take a second before you read this to go to my profile and fill out my poll for a new story. Thank you.**

**So, without further delay, I give you Chapter Ten.**

Day Three

It has been several hours after Xemnas and the rest of the hospital patients got back to the castle to find a wild drinking contest.

Xemnas gripped Roxas' tender catlike underbelly and lifted him up, almost making him hit the whirling ceiling fan. "Okay, Roxas, you're going to tell me what happened here, seeing as you're the only one here that isn't hammered or glued to the ceiling."

Roxas looked up at the fan, then at Xemnas.

_Hehe. Would you believe me if I said it was Xion's idea? _Xemnas gave him a stare that said 'if you actually tell me that, I'll glue you to the ceiling'

_It was Larxene._

A shiver of fear made it's way up the Superior's spine. "Okay then. Roxas, you, Demyx, and Xion will be punished. Larxene though, *shiver* will continue with his day-to-day lifestyle without being bothered."

_Well, might as well get it over with. What do I have to do, Boss?_

"I'm putting you on Rat Duty. You and Sora will go around the castle and kill any mice you find."

_Whoawhoawhoawhoa! Since when is my Other a cat too?_

"Since the Author made him one during the break in the chapters, you twit. Sora! Get out here." Sora, now a chestnut-brown-haired tom-cat with the same height as Roxas, came sulking around the sofa.

"_I don't quite get why I was turned into a cat… Wait a sec! Why am I being punished with him."_

The Superior shrugged lazily. "You're an asshole, maybe?"

"…"

"You tried to kill every person in the castle."

_You and Riku totaled the Superiors dragon._

"_Shut up, Roxas. You're not making this nay better."_

"Well, if you want to get done, you had better get started, you two."

_Wait, this is lame. Can I please do something else?_

"If you don't want to do it, I can always ask Namine to help get you motivated." Roxas took a big gulp of spit at Namine's name.

_!_

And the Superior walked off chuckling.

**Meanwhile, in the Kitchen That Isn't…**

Namine suddenly sneezed. "Huh, I wonder if that rumor is true?"

"What rumor?" asked Zexion, now walking in but not taking his eyes off his book.

"Oh, hi Zexion. Well, there's a rumor that if someone uses you as a threat or spreads a rumor about you, that you'll sneeze. Run along, lunch will be ready soon."

"Ah. Okay then."

Zexion folded his book closed and exited the room. He walked down the hall, every few seconds looking at one of the doors until he found it. The door with the male stickman standing. The bathroom. He walked to it, and out came Xaldin the Moogle.

Zexion gave him a stare of wonder, intrigue… and confusion.

"Hey Xaldin, how's a Moogle supposed to go peepee?"

Xaldin gave him a stare of grief… well, as much grief as could be on a Moogle's face, and then sighed heavily.

"Pray that you never find out, Zexion. Pray that you never find out."

Xaldin floated down the hall in silence, regretting his trip to the restroom. Well, it WAS a silent trip until he passed the Melodious Nocturne, Demyx. He gave Xaldin a creepy stare that said 'Get in my way, I dare ya"

"Hey Xaldin," He said in an irritated tone, "Guess what."

Xeldin looked over at him. "What?"

Demyx got close to the place where he believed Moogles to have their ears and said, "STOP FLOATING AROUND SO LOUD, YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLE!"

…

"OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW my ear! You freakin' broke my eardrum you Douche!

"SHUT UP! I'M TRYIN' TO NURSE A HANGOVER HERE, ASSWIPE!"

"YOU SHUT UP, YOU JERK!"

"NO, YOU SHUT UP!"

"NO, YOU SHUT UP"

Meanwhile, a few floors above this…

Young Luxord and Axel were in the middle of a friendly game of Twenty-One.

"Hit me." Axel said confidently.

Luxord slapped another facedown card onto Axel's radically growing pile of cards already facing that direction.

"You know, I really doubt that you have anything below a bust right now." Axel nodded in disagreement.

"You're right. I'll have to fix that so I can have a perfect Twenty-One." He looked over his stack of cards, selected quite a few of them until he was satifyed, and then all the cards in his hand burst into flames. He threw down an Ace of clubs and a Queen of Diamonds.

"There, I got Twenty-One, Shorty. Now gimme that Twix."

Luxord furrowed his brow. "But that's not fair! You cheated!"

Axel gave him a smile worthy of a stalker. "Well then, maybe you had better not cheat me next time, ya little time stopper." He threw the cards on the ground and left the room.

Meanwhile, a few floors below them…

Both Demyx with his hangover and Xaldin with his general Pissed-Off attitude were still going at it.

"No! *cough* You shut up!"

"No! you shut *wheeze* up!"

Meanwhile, somewhere…

Marluxia was in her garden, like she always was when she was a he, watering, cutting, perfecting, and generally tending to her Roses, Tiger Lilies, Lotus', and Camellia Blossoms.

Saix clambered through the doors, and like most times, her horrible mood immediately made about Eighty percent of the flowers in the room wilt instantly.

"Hey Marluxia, The Superior wants to see you in the living room."

Marluxia gripped her clipping shears, turned around, and threw the shears with all her might towards Saix's face. Direct Hit.

"Dear God, OW! What the hell, Marluxia!" Marluxia gave Saix an angry squint, then pointed towards the sign on her door that said "Please knock before entering. Refusal of this will result in some Gardening Tool being smashed into your face."

Saix read the sign again. "… I thought that was a joke!" Marluxia tilted her hand ever-so-slightly so that she was now pointing at a sign directly below the first one which read "This is not a joke."

Marluxia turned back around, took another pair of clippers out of one of her pockets, and began her work once again. Once she decided she was done, she stood up, punched Saix in the face, and left to meet with the Superior.

"Wait a sec. Why the hell didn't I punch that A-hole back?"

**Meanwhile, Back with **_**those **_**two…**

Both Demyx and Xaldin had passed out due to lack of oxygen. Marluxia appeared farther down the hall, walked passed them, only stopping to kick Xaldin's unconscious body.

She muttered some things. And if you were there, you might have heard, "Asshole didn't leave me any cake on my birthday."

In the Meantime, Let's Check Up With Lexeaus…

Still stuck to the ceiling.

"Can someone get me some water? It's really hot up here, and all my blood's gone to my head! Help me! Anybody? Hello?"

**Please make sure to Review and to take that poll that's on top of my profile. Thanks.**

**So until the next chapter, Read, Review, and just keep being Radical, **

**RFPR.**


	11. Hamburger Helper!

**Let's be honest, no matter how much everyone wants me to own Disney or Square Enix, it'll never happen, and believe it or not, it might be for the best that I don't own it. I would screw the company by investing everything we had into the Hot Pocket companies.**

The Organization's Problems

**BEFORE I FORGET: Pleasepleaseplease just take a second before you read this to go to my profile and fill out my poll for a new story. Thank you.**

Chapter Eleven

Day Three

"Hey everyone," said a teenage perky girl, "lunch is ready!" Namine had been in the kitchen for almost three hours formulating, baking, and stewing the lunch for the Organization.

"Mmmmm. Whatever it is, it had better taste good. You've been in there forever." Said Xigbar, drooling at the mouth as he entered the room.

When everyone but the kitten stuck on the ceiling, Lexeaus, had entered, the meal was served by Namine, still in her apron. Once the meal was put on his plate, Xigbar immediately noticed something.

"What the hell? You've been in the Kitchen for three hours, and you made Hamburger Helper? I could've made this is twenty minutes!"

Her gentle smile became a steep sloped frown and her eyes started watering. "I'm trying my damn best and if you don't like it, well you can cook then!" She heaved the pot, full of the almost boiling Hamburger Helper onto Xigbars head and ran off.

"… OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO! HELL! CHRIST! DAMN! OUCH!" He started running around banging his head on the table as he went along, trying to get the stroganoff out of his hair. Meanwhile, the rest of the present Organization, Hershal, and Sora started talking about their day.

"SH*Huff*UT UP!" said Demyx. Xaldin was still passed out in the hall.

"Demyx" said a perfectly not hungover Larxene, "He's not even here. Now shut the hell up before I rip out your throat."

He may have had a mean head ache and had been angry, but he knew that Larxene would keep her threat. Especially on him.

"_So… this is supposed to be a meal?"_ Sora had just been given his first, and possibly last, meal as a cat. It was… brown. _"Is it supposed to hiss at me if I touch it?"_

_Yeah, but if you're lucky, it'll die by the time you crap it out._

"… _I… you… them… how are you alive?"_

_As I always say, Gypsy Magic._

A figure, slightly larger than the cats, came up to them. "Hi kitties! Do you want some milk?" It was Xion.

"_Shouldn't you be hung over?"_

_YES! We would LOVE some milk!_

"Alright then." She set down to large saucers full of the warm liquid.

Sora eyed his milk with a suspicious look.

_What's wrong with the milk?_

"… _I hate milk."_

… _You suck. You just suck. You and Lexeaus both suck._

Roxas walked over to Sora's milk and quickly lapped it up with his rough tongue. Sora, meanwhile, sat at the corner of the table, waiting for scraps.

Xion walked by a few minutes later carrying a large bottle of pills.

"_Hey Xion, what's with those pills?"_

Xion looked at Sora, then at the bottle in her hands. "Oh, yeah! The Pirate man needed these candies. Are you still hungry? 'Cause Pirate man said that they tasted like chocolate!"

Sora's eyes grew wide. _"Yeah, I am still a bit hungry. Can I have a few?"_ Xion nodded at him happily and set about twenty pills on the ground. Sora quickly fed on them then thought of something.

"_Hey Xion, these sure are good. What kind of candy is this?"_

Xion looked at the bottle again with a deep focus. "Lax… Laxet…Laxatives! That's it, Laxatives!

A rumbling was heard from Sora's swelling stomach and he became worried.

"God dammit! I should have known! Only something that'll have you crap in ten seconds could taste that good! Xion, how many are in a serving?

Xion went back to the bottle. "It says that two should give you good relief within about a minute. Why?"

"…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sora's stomach started rumbling again, and he ran out of the room.

Xion walked up to Roxas. "Hey Mister Kitty, should I still give these to Pirate man like you asked?"

Roxas grinned gleefully. No, put them in his coffee later tonight, though.

**Hey everybody, just thought I'd make a fun little chapter. Sorry for the horrible wait and all, but my internet's been down this week, and I've been going around town with my dad so I haven't had all that much time to write lately. Well, thanks for reading, make sure you get ready for the next chapter.**

**Please make sure to Review and to take that poll that's on top of my profile. Thanks.**

**So until the next chapter, Read, Review, and just keep being Radical, **

**RFPR.**


	12. Stew and Bitchtards and a Hiatus Break

The Organization's Problems

Chapter Twelve

Hi there everybody that's been waiting! Sorry for the wait, but I've been busy, what with school starting. I'm now in the Eighth Grade, and I'm taking Algebra, so I'm really busy. I haven't been able to do anything on the weekends because of some family business, but I really appreciate you guys for sticking through that small hiatus. Sorry if this chapter is a little short.

Day 5…

… Hello? I've been up here few a few days now… And no one's given me any water for a long time. And I'm a bit parched. Can someone help me down?

Lexeaus was still stuck on the ceiling

*fssssssssssssgh* One of his four legs popped off the ceiling.

_**Oh damn. **_His other three paws came undone from the ceiling and he fell onto the couch… somehow, he landed on his feet.

Marluxia walked into the Livingroom and saw the cat.

"Hey, Lexeaus, I see you've come down! How was the weather up there?" But, instead of words coming out of Lexeaus' mouth, out came a hairball... And a few of its compadres.

…_**Woops. **_He looked around to see if there were any witnesses besides Marluxia. No one besides the gender bent flourist. _**… Marluxia did it!**_ He quickly sprinted from the room, Marluxia stomping after him. Running down the hall, chasing the kitty, Marluxia passed the Kitchen That Isn't, and stopped.

She sniffed the air by the door, eventually getting on her hands and knees, and trying to get under the door. Lexeaus joined her in sniffing. After a few minutes, Roxas, Hershal and Demyx all were by the kitchen door, smelling the air.

"What in the name of all that is holy, is that smell!?" Asked Xemnas as she passed the door.

_I think it's coming from the Kitchen… Could it be that Namine is making us all a GOOD dinner?_

"Don't be an idiot. I smell onion. Namine is afraid of onions." Commented Demyx as he took another whiff. "Hey, I just got an idea!"

"What is it?" Hershal wondered aloud.

"Why don't we open the door and see whoever is making the food?" everyone did a mental facepalm.

Xemnas took the duty upon herself, and slowly creaked open the door. Inside, the door revealed, was a pot of stew, and stirring it was Xigbar. When he saw the group of heads peeking through the door, he quickly reacted.

"What the hell are you bags of ass lookin' in here for?! I'm not the damn TV." Demyx pulled out a bag of popcorn.

"Yeah, but you're more interesting than the TV. This is like watching a pirate cook, only with less peg legs… and more onions." Demyx ran off down the hallway, then came back with a lawnchair. He set it up in the kitchen, and took a seat. Everyone followed his lead, and got their own chairs.

_Why didn't you ever tell us that you could cook, Xigbar?! This stuff smells amazing!_

Xigbar shrugged. "It just wasn't that important, so I never said anything about it."

"Why are you cooking stew?" asked Xemnas, looking in the pot. She took a silver spoon and took a taste.

"Namine said that if I didn't want her cooking, I was going to have to."

"Dear God," Xemnas said, swallowing. "This is the best thing I've ever tasted, Number Two. I hereby designate you official cook of the Organization. There isn't a pay raise, and you have to buy all the ingredients yourself, and there's no real change in title either."

Xigbar let a sweat drop. "Gee, thanks, your royal doucheness."

"No problem."

After Several more minutes, the entire Organization, excluding Sora and Namine, were in the kitchen, each stealing large spoonfuls of the stew. Meanwhile, Namine was in the Guest Room That Has No Name with Sora. All around the floor were small toy mice. Sora ran around, chasing whichever one Namine set off next.

"_Stop this, Namine! Whenever I kill these things, I'll get you next!" _She merely giggled and continued launching the mice.

Day Seven: Mission Day…

Xemnas cleared her throat and everyone stood at attention. "Okay, everyone, today, we'll begin the missions. Because of our current… predicament, no more flying solo. From now on we use the Buddy System. Like in Rex-Kwon-Do. Marluxia, you're with and Luxord." She handed them an envelope. "Demyx, you and Saix are on a team. Axel, Lexeaus, and Xigbar, you're a group. Xion, Sora, Moronic Bitchtard, AKA Hershal, Zexion and Xaldin, since you're all either useless or temps at the moment, you'll all be on a team."

"Wait! Why am I a 'Moronic Bitchtard?'" questioned Hershal. Xemnas gave him a death glare that said 'simply because'. Xion ran over to where the brown haired cat lay and picked him up. She started gently petting him, and he began purring softly. Everyone stared for a second, then returned their attention to Xemnas.

"And Larxene, you're on your own. Lord God knows that anyone on your team with slow you down and die painfully." Larxene grinned and nodded his agreement. "Vexen, you'll stay here and continue the work on the cure, and Roxas, Vexen will need a test subject." Roxas gulped heavily as Vexen gave him a smirk.

"Alright everyone, move out!"


	13. Mean Old Man Missions!

Hey guys, thanks to all of you who hung in and read the last chapter, I really appreciate it. As a present, I'm gonna stop talking and just let you read. PS… Sorry if that last chapter wasn't very funny. My sense of humor slowly dies at school, like a gorilla waiting in line to get a pizza at a ballet. PPS… Sorry if the margins or indents mess up. The Organization's Problems

Chapter Thirteen

With Team Moronic Bitchtard…

"_What the hell kind of idea was this?"_

"Yeah, why are we in cages?"

Hershal sighed as he carried the Moogle and cat in their cages. "Well you're both animals, and it'd look strange if we just strolled around here with a Moogle and a talking cat."

"_Hey!" _Sora said, irritated, _"I'm a Telepathy Kitten. Talking cats are just weird."_

"Fine. Telepathy Kitten, whatever." The quintet had recently arrived in Twilight Town and was given several stares as they walked.

"So what's the mission, Zexion?" asked Hershal, looking at the silver-haired seven year old. The boy fished in his cloak for a few moments, finally pulling out a slightly crumpled envelope. He opened it and began to read the note cards.

"Members III, VI, XIV, Sora, and Douchebag McFag, your mission is to find and take any work that come your way. The Organization is running through funds faster than a hot cup of Epson Salts through an old woman's colon." Hershal wondered why he was again being insulted and why Xemnas might want to use that analogy. "Take any work, especially if it has good pay or overly humiliating to Hershal. When you think you've raised enough, bring it back the the Castle. Over and Out."

"Alright. I'll go with Xion and Sora. Xaldin, you go with Zexion and scam some people near the station." Zexion and the Moogle started up the path towards Sunset Station, while Xion, Hershal, and Sora started towards the suburb district.

Team Crazy Lightning Man-Bitch…

When the Corridor of Darkness that took him to the world closed, Larxene ripped open the envelope and read silently. "I see… So it shall be."

He opened another Corridor and cackled as he stepped through.

Team Looks-the-Same-as-She-Did-Before-She-was-Gender-Bent and Luxord…

"For the 923rd time, no, Luxord. I'm not going to play a game with you. I know how you cheat and lie by using your time and card powers." Luxord, still a seven year old, hung his head low and walked behind Marluxia, who is still a woman, though she still looks the same as before. "Alright, hand me the mission, Luxord."

He handed her the envelope and she gently cut into it with a pair of gardening shears. She read the note aloud.

"Marluxia and Luxord, your job is to find a bakery and tell the person on the counter that I sent you. He'll give you a large box. Bring it to the Castle That Never Was immediately." She folded the envelope back up and slipped it into her cloak.

Team Sitar and Puppy…

"So," said the blue-haired woman, sliding an envelope into her cloak, "it seems our mission is to pick up something called a computer, and whatever the hell an 'X-Box' is."

Demyx starting rapidly fist-pumping the air. " &%# YEAH! Go Xemnas!"

"He says that we have to go buy it at some place called 'Wal*Mart', though." Demyx was instantly on his knees, punching the floor.

" &%# NO! Not Wal*Mart! That place is a total Hell-hole!" Saix sighed and started dragging the blonde boy by his hood through a Dark Corridor.

Team Pyro-maniac, Ceiling-Cat and Pirate…

"Why did he have to give us such a ridiculous name?" asked the eye-patched man.

Who cares. Let's just get this done. I don't want to have to spend more time in here than I have to. I hate this God-forsaken place and how all the pious college know-it-alls come here to write there crappy screenplays.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, Lex. We just need to get a..." Axel looked once again at the note Xemnas gave him, "50 dollar gift card." He looked up at one of the hanging menus. "Holy Crap! A coffee here is eight bucks?! No wonder he needs a gift card!"

Hey, order me some lactose-free milk.

"Lexeaus, it's milk, how can it be lactose-free?"

…Soy, walnut, there are a few different kinds of it.

A young blonde girl wearing a brown visor style hat walked up the counter. "Welcome to Star Bucks, how may I rip you off today, sir?"

"Yeah, I just want a gift card, and a bottle of milk." She punched in the items.

"Will that be all?"

A smile came across Axels face. "Make sure the milk has extra lactose. Lots of lactose."

"Oh, and I want a muffin."

"Alright," The cashier said cheerfully, "that will be 87 dollars." Axel punched the counter, and it cracked.

"What costs 37 bucks here?!" she kept her smile… creepily.

"The milk and the muffin."

Axel let out a sigh of defeat and handed the woman a hundred. A few feet away, several men typed away at their laptops.

"Man, I just love writing in public, Tom." One said.

"Yeah, me too. You're not a real writer unless someone constantly watches you type. Hey, RFPR, what're you writing about today?"

I sighed and looked at my fellow writers. "**NOTHING IMPORTANT, YOU ASSHOLES.**" And I continued typing.

Team Moronic Bitchtard…

Xion quietly knocked on the door to one of the apartments, and a middle-aged woman answered with a hello. Xion pulled Sora out from behind her back and showed him to the woman.

"Miss lady, this kitty is really sick, and we need some moneys to buy him treatment."

"Awe, and how much money do you need, little girl?" she asked, pulling out her billfold. Xion dug around in her pocket for a few seconds, then pulled out a crumpled up piece of notebook paper. She handed it to the woman, who just stared at it. "Little girl, this is just a one with fifteen zeros. I'm afraid I can't help you."

Xions face began to wrinkle up, and a strong stream of tears began rolling down her face. "Please! Daddy says the Kitty will die if we don't get moneys! Wahh!"

Sensing a small crowd gathering and staring at the child, the woman opened her billfold dumped out all the bills she had, and handed them to Xion. "Fine! Here! Just stop crying!" Immediately, Xions tears dried up and a small smile crawled up her face.

"Come on Kitty, let's go give the money to Daddy!" And she ran off, Sora in close pursuit. She turned at a corner and Hershal greeted her.

"Great job, Xion!" She handed him the multiple denomination of bills and he began counting. "Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen… Nineteen hundred bucks!" You did so well, Xion! Now, let's go over to the next set of apartments! Sora, you stay here this time." He picked up Xion and put her on his shoulders.

He walked over to another group of duplexes and rang the doorbell. An old man answered. "Whaddah ya want?" he asked, eyeing the young girl and Hershals shoulders.

"I'm going through a hard time right now. I made a mistake, my parents kicked me out of the house, and my girlfriend had a baby then died. I'm going around and trying to collect money so I can be a good dad." The old man kept his stare old and mean.

"Hmph." He said. "You teenagers, you go to your parties, get a girl preggers, then come ask old men that barely have a dime to lend you money. Fine, for the little girl you're carrying, not for you." He reached in his back pocket and took out a twenty dollar bill. He stuck it against the wall and pulled out a pen. He wrote something on it, then handed it to Hershal.

"Thank you so much." Hershal said, and he walked away back around the corner. When the old mans door had closed, Hershal quickly added, "asshole."

"_So how was it?" Sora asked._

Hershal pulled out the bill and read what the old man wrote. "That old fart!" He handed the money to Sora.

"Did he seriously write 'Up yours, mother &%#er'? That old Fart!"


	14. Return of the Author

**Well, I had to take some time off writing. I just had an enormous amount of writers block, so now I'm back. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, etc.**

**Team Looks-the-Same-as-She-Did-Before-She-was-Gender-Bent and Luxord…**

They approached the counter, Luxord staring at the many pastries and other sugary treats, Marluxia keeping eyes steadied at the large, Italian looking man with small beard stubble poking out of his cheeks.

"So what can I do for ya? Did you come to ruin that nice figure o' yours?" A shudder went down Marluxias spine. Both for the fact that Marluxia is technically a dude, and that the cloak wasn't really showing off any figure.

"No. Look here," she glanced at the mans name tag. "Miss Fabrizio," Another, stronger shutter traveled down Marluxias spine. "We came to pick up a cake for Xemnas of Organization XIII."

The very manly WOMAN scratched under her chin, struggling to remember the name. After a few seconds, a light-bulb lit up.

"Oh yeah! I remember that order! A young woman came in wanting this puppy." She walked a few feet into the bakery, then trudged back with an almost comically large white box. Luxords eyes went wide.

"That's probably ours." Marluxia sighed.

The "woman" standing behind the counter held out a hand. "We were told that you'd be paying upon pick up. That'll be 92 dollars."

The older Organization member gave a look of dumb-foundment, then laid a hand on Luxords shoulder.

"Now, Luxord!" The blonde boy grinned evilly, then snapped his fingers. The small draft in the room halted suddenly, as did all movement of Miss Fabrizio and the staff working the confectionary. Marluxia took hold of the cake, and the two slipped out of the store.

Soon after, the draft became apparent once more, and the staff continued their work. Meanwhile, behind the counter, Miss Fabrisio began swearing in a very brutal, Italianly male way.

Team Sitar and Puppy…

The Blue haired girl and blonde boy were waiting in line, hoping to get to a checkout counter. The only thing stopping them was a pair of old ladies, who refused to pay with anything other than exact change.

They each had dug up miniscule snap open purses, and were now both trying to find what was probably inch thick glasses to identify what coin like object they were picking up.

Demyx playfully clawed at his face. "Oh, god! Please, drop dead! How is it you're able to stay alive this long, you fossils?!" Others behind the nobodies nodded and murmured their agreements.

The shorter of the women picked up one of their cans and chunked it at Demyx. Direct hit. "Oh shut up, you stupid little young'n!"

"Mother of God, please grant these tired, old, past-their-experation-date souls entrance into Kingdom Hearts!" Another can flew into his head.

Team Pyro-maniac, Ceiling-Cat and Pirate…

A teenage boy laid a small coffee cup and a bottle of milk on the counter. "Alex! Latte with no milk, side of cupcake?"

Axel walked up to the cashier and gave him a glare. "Absolutely nothing you said was correct in any way." He swiped the items and the team walked out of the coffee shop.

Xigbar threw out his hand, and as he flicked his wrist, a Corridor of Darkness opened. The scared man picked up Lexeaus and tossed him into the doorway. He chuckled and stepped through.

Similarly, throughout several more worlds, the other teams also summoned the Corridors and walked through.

At the Cast that Never Was' Courtyard…

One by one, members of the Organization appeared, each carrying some sort of package.

Xemnas then called everyone together.

"Good work everyone," she said, clapping her hands together and looking at the collected items. "This looks like everything. Larxene, if you would?"

Number 12 walked into the room, carrying several cans of gasoline. All around him, the faces of his team mates morphed into confused stares. He poured the gasoline, evenly covering everything the rest of the Organization had brought.

Xemnas lit a match, then, after watching the small splinter of wood burn for a second, threw it onto the soaked groceries.

They lit up spectacularly. Xemnas then got on her knees and began rapidly bowing. "Oh great author, I summon you! I sacrifice these gifts for your happiness. In exchange, please remove Hershal and Sora from my life!"

I typed at my keyboard, and it was so. The flaming pile of expensive gifts faded into nothing, as did Hershal and Sora.

Xemnas picked herself up and began running around happily in circles. "Yes! I finally got rid of them! Now we can finally focus on getting back to our old selves!"

The other Organization members looked around at each other and in unison, asked the obvious question. "WHAT THE HELL?!"

Xemnas stopped running and looked at the group. "Oh yeah… I figured that if Author could bring one fool to us, he could take two away."

Saix walked up to the Superior and gently grabbed her collar bone on either side of her. Her grip tightened, then her hands travels upward, towards the neck, eventually letting Number 7 choke the Superior.

"You could have asked him to change us back, Xemnas!"

Number 1's brows perked up, as if saying 'oh yeah" then fell back as she lost consciousness. Most of the boys turned girls and cats backed farther off, murmuring about a second Larxene. Xemnas just laid there, a small grin still pasted on her face from not seeing the hatted boy or the Key Bearer.

**For anyone that's still reading this, thanks for the support and patience. I know it's been a while, and I appreciate every reader that somehow makes his or her way to my stories.**

**That being said, I need some help with this next chapter. My imagination's been a little out of it lately, so I want you, in the Reviews, to help me make a new arc for the story. And until Chapter 16 is out, I want you to send in an OC. My only rule for the OC is that it has to have some sort of character to it. I want it to already have some sort of personality, so I can bend some humor into it. Oh, and not all OCs will be put into the story, so make sure it's noticeable.**

**So, again, thanks for reading. Until the next Chapter, keep reading, reviewing, and just keep being Radical.**

**RFPR**


	15. How to Cause the Apocalypse

**Hey guys, I just wanted to preface this chapter with a HUGE sorry to any of you who read the other version of this chapter. I got a little caught up in what was happening to me at the moment I was writing, and I forgot about making my stuff as funny as I could make it. So, I deleted all of the chapters and will be replacing them with instead of a mystery arc, another comedic one that I still intend to end the story.**

**By the way, I'm not sure why, but the way I've been writing lately isn't like I used to, so I'm sorry for that if you wanted it like back then.**

**BTW: Right now, this story has about 6,700 views! If we can take this thing to 7,000 I'll post my newest chapter as soon as I get it done!**

**Well, I think that'll be it. Please enjoy the NEW Chapter 15!**

TIME 2:03 AM

Axel tip-toed into the Kitchen. He looked both left and right as he closed the door. He made his way to the far side of the room, checked once again for followers, and, not detecting any, opened the fridge. He quickly swiped a small container out and closed it back.

He slowly opened one of the drawers near the sink and pulled out a large butter knife.

_No one must know. _He thought to himself. _No one._

He took the tab on the containers foil lid and slid it back, then tore it off. He gave it a lick then threw it in the garbage. He reached into one of the dozens of drawers in the kitchen and pulled out a butter knife. His hand gently closed the drawer back.

The knife was slowly dipped into the container and pulled out. It now was covered in a thick layer of whatever was in the container. Axel slowly slid his tongue over it, taking the substance with it.

There was a click, and the light of the kitchen was on. In the doorway, Saïx stood, wide eyed, mouth slightly open in surprise.

"A-Axel," she stuttered, seeing the container and its contents, "You're using a butter knife to eat chocolate pudding?!" She ran up to him and slapped the knife and pudding out of his hands. "What's wrong with you?!" She looked at the wall clock. "And it's 2 in the morning!"

"I swear," he replied, not daring to look away from her soul piercing eyes, "I wasn't doing anything like that!"

"Don't lie to me! Do you know the consequences of using the wrong utensil to eat pudding?! You WILL go to Hell! The Grim Reaper will personally come to you in the middle of the night, take your soul, and take a crap on it! And this won't just affect you! Every single of you friends will have to suffer along side you!"

Axel gave Saïx a stare of confusion.

"It will cause the appocolypse to begin! Aliens will sense the usage of the wrong utensil. Come to earth, and release a poisonous gas or a flesh eating virus! Then Kingdom Hearts will fall from the sky and crash into the earths crust, like in Majora's Mask!"

"Saïx…" Axel said, still locking eyes with the girl, "you're crazy. It's just a little weird is all."

"No, Axel! It is evil! It is the same as performing human transmutation!"

"You're just saying crap from animes now!"

"I'm saying stuff that came from the mouths of geniuses!"

"Edward Elric isn't a real person!"

"You will cause the end of the world! You are the Anti-Christ!"

The red haired boy sighed. He just couldn't get it into the girls head that she was wrong.

"Just try it again, Axel," she said, handing him the knife and pudding back. He scooped a bit more on the knife, but before it could make it to his mouth, the walls began shaking.

"What the hell was that, Saïx?"

"That was the Grim Reaper, about to steal our souls!"

"Well is it gone!?"

She looked around the room. "Yes, it appears so, Axel." She opened the fridge and pulled out another pudding cup. "Man, all that warning made me a bit peckish." She slid a drawer out and grabbed a utensil.

Axel eyes went wide as Saïx brought a fork with a layer pudding to her lips.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH!"

**Yeah, I realize it was a bit short, but I think it was pretty funny. Anyways, this is to just tide you over until June 17. Hopefully, and I'm not making any promises, I will be able to upload several chapters on the year anniversary of this story. Oh well.**

**So, I hope you enjoyed it, and until the next chapter, don't use the wrong utensil and just keep being radical.**

**RFPR**


	16. Dry Cleaners

Uhh… I don't really know what to say about this one. I was planning a funny short story, but this sorta erupted instead.

"What the hell?" Saïx passed one of the bedroom doors. On it was a cardboard sign with 'the Royal Organizations Strongest Guard,' written in neat letters. "What the crap is the Royal Organization Strongest Guard?" She heard a few mumbles from the other side of the door. She ran to the kitchen, got a drinking glass, and got back to the door. She stuck the glass and her ear up to the door.

"Alright," said a young girls voice, "So, do we all understand why I assembled us all here today?" There was a long pause. "Yes, Luxord?"

A boy began talking. "Is it because you were bored and you dragged me away from my sleep?"

"No!" Saïx heard a whack and knew Xion had just hit Luxord. "We are here because we're the youngest out of anyone in the castle! Everyone out there thinks that we're the weakest links, but I think that together, we're the best team the Organization has!"

There was a stretch of silence over the next few moments, then Xions voice broke out.

"Alright then! Now that that's done, time for roll call." She cleared her throat. " ZEXION!" Saïx could hear something fall onto the floor. Zexion probably dropped his book in surprise.

"I'm right here, Xion. And don't scream so loud, you might damage everyone's ears."

"Whatever, Zexion. Now, XION!" She waited a moment. "Oh, here. LUX-"

"I'm here, alright! Shut up!"

"Okay then, ROSG, roll out!" Saïx walked away from the door just as it came slamming open and hit the wall. Xion marched down the hall, followed by the walking Zexion and Luxord. The boys followed her to Xemnas, who was asleep on the couch. "Zexion, lemme see that book real quick."

Zexion's face perked up a bit. "Finally interested in reading?" He handed her the book, instructing her to hold the ends of the pages up and the spine down. She humored him, grasping it in the manner in which he spoke. She re-gripped her fingers on it, and hit it across Xemnas' head.

Xemnas fell off the screamed and fell off the sofa. "What the hell was that?!" She looked around, finally seeing the trio. "Xion," she pinched the bridge of her nose and squinted at the younger girl, "what do you want?"

Xion gave the book another swing, landing it Number Ones noggin once again. "Me, Luxord, and Zexion want a mission. The biggest, most important one you have. One that needs ninja skills to complete. One that only you've ever been able to do."

"Ugh… Why, Xion?"

"So we can show everyone that even though we're the youngest members, we're the most valuable team here."

Xemnas sighed, dug around in her pocket, and gave Xion a small slip of wrinkled paper. Xion looked it over for a second and turned it over a few times.

"Xemnas, there's something wrong with this. It's just a bill from someone named Freeman."

"That," the leader explained, "is a receipt for Freemans Dry-Cleaning. It's located in Twilight Town, just north of the Sandlot. Go there and get all the Organizations XIIIs coats, pants, and all the dresses that belong to Namine."

"How is this important?"

"I'm sure you can figure it out on your own."

Xion pouted at Xemnas. She opened and stomped through a Corridor of Darkness, keeping the two boys in tow. They were in the Sandlot.

She looked around for minute, noting the buildings and making sure she was in the right world. "Uh… Zexion, which way is north?" the boy pointed the way, not taking his eyes off his book. "Alright! Come on, ROSG!"

She began walking, but looked back to see the boys both sitting there.

"What're you guys doing?"

Luxord spoke up. "This was your idea. You're the one who has to do the dry-cleaning."

"I don't really want to put my books in the danger of being in a Dry-Cleaners. The air inside those places is awful for books."

Xion sighed. "Fine, you two stay here." She started the trek up the slowly steepening hill.

_Stupid Luxord. Stupid Zexion. I give them a chance to be the coolest people in the world, and they don't take it! Those jerks… I just won't give them any credit when we get to the castle._

She made her way up, eventually stopping at the hanging, rotten wood-made "Freemans," sign. She opened the door and was greeted with the smell of heavy starch. There was a small ringing of a bell as the door closed and Number Fourteen walked up the counter.

"Yeah," said a female voice. "I'll be right with you, hold on a second!" there was a bit of rustling behind the business desk, most likely the plastic covers hitting each other. A brunette haired girl wearing an orange tank top made her way to the counter. She searched the room at eye-level before Xion said anything.

"'Scuse me! Down here!"

The girl looked down at Xion and an embarrassed smile came over her. "Oops, sorry about that. We don't get too many kids coming in here and asking for dry-cleaning. So, are you here to pick up or drop off?" Xion shrugged and took out the receipt. She laid it on the counter and the girl took it. "Oh, you're in for THAT order." She ripped the receipt in half and threw it in the rubbish bin on her side of the counter.

She looked behind her and yelled, "Dad, is the big order ready yet?" A few seconds later, her response came in.

"Yeah," said a gruff, male voice. "The pants, coats and dresses?"

"Uh-huh!"

"I'll bring 'em up there!"

The girl, Olette the man had called her, gave Xion a look. It was one of those 'wait a second… what," looks.

"So, why did you come here all alone, Shorty?"

Xion sighed and looked away. "I came here with my friends, but they ditched me."

The counter girl smiled. "Ah well. Looks like we're in the same boat. My friends were supposed to help out here today, but they ditched too." A giant pile of plastic covered clothes was laid on the counter. "Thanks Dad." She looked at the monstrous stack. "You need a bit of help?"

Xions face turned stern. "No. I can do this." She picked up the pile, carrying it over her head. Olette chuckled and opened the door. "Th-thanks," Xion said, trying to stabilize the weight. She stumbled through the door.

"Please come again," shouted the girl, shutting the door.

Xion looked back. "Yeah. See ya the- whoa!" she stumbled and the pile began toppling down the hill, Xion going with it. She and the clothes rolled down the hill. She picked herself up and looked at the clothes. "Dammit! Screw the clothes!" She opened a Corridor and began throwing the apparel in.

When everything was in she heard a voice. "So you done yet, Xion?" It was Luxord. He and Zexion were both sat down, playing a hand of poker. Xion stomped over to them, grabbed them by their hoods, dragged them back to the portal, and threw the boys in. She summoned another portal, stepped through, and sighed.

"So," said a female voice, "where's the laundry?"

"Sorry, Xemnas. Guess the mission just wasn't right for us." Xemnas sighed.

"Are the clothes in this dimension?" Xion nodded no.

"So why did you say that getting the laundry was important?"

The Next Day…

Besides Roxas, Lexeaus and Xaldin, everyone was dressed a bit strangely. Xemnas was in a Referees uniform, Xigbar wore a snow suit, and Vexen had on a Princess Peach dress. Zexion wore a tuxedo while Saïx and Axel wore Japanese school uniforms. Demyx was only wearing a pair of swimming trunks, Luxord had on a white long sleeve button-up and a black vest and black dress shorts, and Marluxia wore a sunflower costume. Larxene was wearing a Goku cosplay training suit, and Xion had on her wolf pup costume.

Xemnas walked over to Xion. "You wanted to know why getting the dry-cleaning was important, right? It's because when we don't have clean clothes, this is all we have as back up."


	17. Chips, Tots, and Fries

**Hey guys! This is the first chapter of the uploading marathon for the Organizations Problems Anniversary. Let me just say that I plan to upload up to three of these suckers, all today, which should be the 17****th****. (If it isn't June 17****th****, RFPR, stop uploading these. They're for the Anniversary.) Anyway, this was one of my favorite chapters to write, and I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did.**

_Hey, Xigbar, _asked the blonde tom cat, walking into the kitchen, _What 'cha cooking?_

Xigbar was standing before the stove, ready with a spatula at the ready, in case the boiling canola oil began to burn the potatoes.

"Just some Tots, Roxas." The cat leapt onto the counter and took a look the caramelizing slices of root.

_These are French Fries, dude._

"No," said a voice, "They're chips, you know, potatoes fried in oil, then salt and peppered." Luxord was in the doorway, eyeing the short sided pan and taking a deep whiff of the food.

_Pfft! _Roxas jumped off the granite counter top, landing feet first, and walked toward the seven year old boy._ Luxord, no offence to you and your Scottish accent, but I think I know the difference between a Frito and a Fry._

"English. I'm English, Roxas. And if you really think it's called a fry, what do you say to a little bet?"

_I'm no moron, Luxord. I'm not going to play you in a game of cards because of some stupid fries._

"But I'm not talking about cards or dice, Roxas. I'm talking about something completely controlled by others in the Organization. Here," He pulled out a bag of coins and laid it on the counter. "This is my bet that the rest of the Organization will say chips, Roxas."

Roxas looked at the old, probably smelly bag of coins.

_Hold on a second. _He scurried out of the kitchen and came back a minute later with a pack of tube socks and a DVD copy of Terminator 2: Judgment Day between his teeth.

_This is my bet that they're fries._

The boy and the cat glared at each other until Xigbar stepped in. "Look, little dudes," he dropped a piece of paper on the pile of coins. "Everyone knows that they're called tots."

Roxas got back on the counter and looked at the paper.

_One free plate of tots for the holder of this paper. Who the hell would want this, Xigbar?_

Xigbar pulled a potato from the cooling plate and slid it to Roxas. The cat bit into it, chewed for a second, and swallowed.

_I'm in._

Luxord picked Roxas up and they went off.

**Somewhere else in the Castle…**

Larxene waltzed into the Living Room, seeing only Xion on the couch. He took the other spot on the love cushion next to the little girl. Larxene supposed that she was having a little nap and had decided not to disturb her.

He looked at Xion for a moment, staring at her black hair, then noticed something. "What the hell?" He tugged a small bud out of Xions ear. He followed the cord to the small, Organization standard Silver iPod.

"Heh, looks like she fell asleep to a lullaby." His eyelids grew heavy, and Larxene could feel himself beginning to join Xion in the world of sleep. "Maybe one song wouldn't hurt…" With his eyes almost completely shut, he plugged the buds into his ears and tapped the play icon.

His eardrums were met with the sound of a blood curdling loud drum solo, then with similar vocals. His eyes were now wide open.

"What the crap was that?!" He opened the iPod Menu and looked at the playlist. "Why the hell is Xion listening to Godsmack, Five Fingered Death Punch and Soundgarden?!" He gently put the buds back in Xions ears with the screeching vocal still going in the background. She didn't even flinch as, four feet away, Larxene heard a mound of power cords being strummed.

**Back with the Potato Dudes**

"Funny. I remember eating those when I was with Kairi."

"Namine," said Luxord, tapping his foot on the marble, "Just tell us what you call them."

"Oh! Um…" She scratched her chin. "I think they were called Fried Potatoes. But I don't remember them ever being as thin as these." She took one of the potato slices from the plate and ate it. She smiled as she chewed. "Mmmm. These are great, Xigbar."

The man in the eye patch grinned and rubbed the back of his head. "Thanks, Namine." His grin dropped and he looked at the kid and cat. "Well, that means we all have zero points."

"Wait, so you're having a bet to see what the most popular for them is?" The boys nodded. "Well, does the winner get any more of them?" Another nod. "Well, I'd like to join. They were so good I think I'd like a plate to myself."

_Do you have anything to put up if you lose?_

"Yeah, just hold on a second." She ran off and came back a moment later carrying a bag of DS game cartridges. "I'll put these up." The boys went wide eyed.

Luxord flipped through the plastic Wal-Mart sack. "This thing is completely full. And there aren't even any boxes! There must be three hundred games in here!" He picked one up. "What the crap?! Where the heck did you get the money to but these, Namine?"

"Um…" She tapped her foot and thought. A figurative lightbulb went off in her head. "Oh yeah! Now I remember." A large, pleasant smile stretched over her face. "I stole them."

Roxas, Luxord and Xigbar looked at each other for a moment, silently asking whether or not they should accept illegally obtained games, which were most likely, from the way Namine was acting, stained in the blood of countless cashiers. They nodded agreement.

"You're in," said representative Xigbar.

**In The Garden…**

Marluxia rose from the soil, covered in grime, wiped the bit of sweat from her brow, and headed into her shed. It was a small room, only about six feet by eight feet, but it held all of her gardening supplies. She laid the trowel in the clearly marked area labeled "trowels."

She walked out of the shed, locked its five pad locks and reset the ten digit combination lock. His, well, HER motto when to pertaining to gardening was "You can never be too careful. There are millions of woman that would kill for these roses."

She often said that exact motto, even when not at her garden. And sometimes not even when talking about garden. In fact, one time, she and Xion were out at dinner one night, and when the waiter asked what they had wanted, that's how she had responded. But the motto has nothing to do with what's happening at the moment.

She finished securing her shed, turned around to face the doors back into the castle and there stood Roxas the cat, Namine, Xigbar and Luxord.

"Hey, Marluxia, could I ask you a question," asked Xigbar, taking a step forward with the potatoes in his hands.

Marluxia pulled off her gloves and let them land on the floor. "Why, of course." She eyes the plate of potatoes.

Xigbar waved the plate in front the pink haired man-turned-woman. "These are potatoes that have been sliced, fried, and have ben spiced with salt and pepper. What would you call this dish?"

"Hm. Are those the same potatoes I gave you this morning?" Xigbar raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "Oh, I must give them a taste!" She took a slice and chewed on it slowly. "Mmmmm. I knew the potatoes were already perfect, but to cooked in such a manner is such a fine fate for my starchy little friends."

_Look, Marluxia, just tell us what you call these dudes. Fried potatoes, tots, chips, or French fries?_

"I'd would call it…" she thought for a moment and looked at her garden. "I'd call them Ficassee Solanum Tuberosum."

"God dammit," the quartet yelled in unison. "No one agrees with any of ours!" They left the balcony, making sure to lock the door tight before Marluxia could get in, and made their way down the hall.

At the end of the hall, a little floating puff of cream colored fur hovered around the corner, getting the attention of the four potato name seekers.

"Hey, Xaldin, mind if we ask you something?"

The Moogle started slowly floating over to the group. "Okay. What is it you need to know *Kupa*," he asked, finally coming to a stop.

Roxas walked over to him, jumped onto his head, and began clawing the red ball violently. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt all that much if Namine hadn't ran over and began punching him into the ground.

Her hitting the Moogle went on for a minute, all the while she yelled, "You scared Kitty-Roxas!"

After the beating, she excused herself, saying that she had to wash Xaldins blood off her knuckles.

_Sorry about that, Xaldin. That red ball on your head was just so… hypnotizing. I'm glad I got recovered myself without causing any significant damage. _This is what he said as he was chewing on the detatched ball.

"You ripped the ball off of my head *Kupa*! Now all I have is a stem! What am I going to do with a stem!?"

"You could stick marshmallows on it and roast them over a fire," said Namine, returning from the bathroom. She still had a bit of the blood on her hands.

"But," Xigbar said, stepping forward, "we didn't want to ask you if we could beat you up. This time. We wanted to know what you call these." He handed a slice over to the Moogle. Xaldin turned around for a moment, and when he turned back, the slice was gone.

"You guys really don't want to see how it's done. But, I'd call it a chip *Kupa*. Definitely a chip."

Luxord nearly gave Xaldin a hug. Nearly. "Awesome! That means I'm in the lead! Guess that bag of games, the chips, and Terminator 2 are all mine!"

_What about the tube socks?_

Luxord walked off and came back with the tube socks, kerosene, and a lighter. He threw the socks on the ground, dripped a pint of kerosene on them, and lit it.

_Noooo! My socks!_

As Roxas stood over the flaming woolen socks, Xigbar approached Luxord.

Luxord looked over the burlap sack that he'd stuffed the prize into. His mouth practically watered in anticipation of the hours of enjoyment. "The pot isn't yours yet, kid. You've still got a long way to go before you get anything."

_*sniff* My socks…_

**Well, how was it? Again, this chapter was amazing to write, so I hope it was SPLENDIFOROUS to read. That is an actual word. Google it. Or Bing it. Whatever you search with. So, anyways, keep reading, reviewing, and just keep being Radical.**

**RFPR**

**PS. Chapter 18 in now up**


	18. Shake Dat Kitty

Hey guys! Welcome to chapter three of the marathon! Just an update from me: I can see some clouds closing in on me, and the thunder is distracting me from my Spotify Playlist. I have a pizza in the oven right now, and I'm hungry like the wolf.

Xion sat on the sofa, munching slowly on her stack of chocolate chip cookies. She wondered where she had gotten a stack of cookies. She'd just been sitting there, then, POOF! She was sitting there, eating a cookie. Any curiosity she had was thrown off by the taste of the still melting chocolate chips.

She'd just finished one that was a little burnt on the side when little Kitty Roxas came running up to her. "Hi, Mr. Kitty!" Behind him followed the blonde girl, arms open, as if trying to get a hug from the kitten, Xigbar, shouting at the blonde girl, and the little blonde boy, who had a big grin.

Xion picked Roxas up and stroked his head lightly. "Awe, Mr. Kitty, did the people scare you?"

Roxas let out a soft purr. _Yeah, Xion._

"But Roxas-Kitty, I'll, protect you from those two jerks!" As she said jerks, she pointed towards Xigbar and Luxord.

_I'm not afraid of them! You're the one who's freaking me out, Namine!_

Her face grew dark. She yanked the cat out of Xions arms and began wildly shaking him. "I love you, Roxas-Kitty! You don't need to be scared of me! I'M NICE!"

AAAAGGGHHGHH! Stop it Namine! GLLGLGLGLLLLGGGGRGLGLGLGLGLGLGLGLLLL!

She stopped the shaking and gave the cat a bear hug. "I'm sorry for shaking you, Roxas-Kitty. Forgive me." It was more of a command than a question.

Xion ran up to Namine and grabbed Roxas.

"Merow," said Roxas.

"Mr. Kitty, are you okay?!" He mewed again.

"Roxas," Xigbar said with a bit of force in his voice, "project your thoughts into our heads again."

True, Roxas, up until now, had been projecting his thoughts to everyone using the powers given to him, Lexeaus, and Xaldin by a gypsy. Now, his meows were coming straight from his mouth.

"Merow."

"Well crap! How are we going to finish the potato name thing now," asked Luxord.

"Luxord, we'll get back to that in a moment. Go get Vexen."

Ten Minutes Later…

Yes," Vexen commented, holding Roxas up to her eyes, "very strange. I've already been here for a few minutes and he hasn't sworn at me yet. All joking aside, though, this isn't too bad."

Xigbar stood up from his position on the sofa. "So what's the problem then, Vexen? Just give him a Mega-Potion or an Ether or something."

"The problem isn't his health. He seems like a perfectly normal cat. The problem is his mind. It's like someone has amnesia."

"So, does that mean, if I do the same thing I did that made him think he was a cat, will that make him act like a human again?" Vexen shrugged.

"I don't know. Maybe something cartoony like that might work in our situation."

"And what situation is that, Vexen," asked Luxord.

Vexen squatted down to Luxords eye-level. "Five people have had their gender changed. Three of us are now children. We have two pets. One of us is a floating salesman. Meanwhile, the three people who didn't draw the short sticks are having to deal with everyone.

"Our lives are cartoonish enough to the point where something as strange as trying to repeat the conditions of an amnesiac incident is normal."

"Ah," said Luxord. "That makes sense."

Vexen threw the cat over her shoulder, and it landed on its paws. "Give it a try, Namine." Namine rushed over and picked up the kitten.

She began shaking it wildly. "Rooooooxxxxxxyyyyy!" She gently placed Roxas back onto the ground. He stumbled around for a moment, but eventually got his footing back. "Roxas-Kitty, do you know who I am?"

The kitten just turned his head to an odd angle.

Vexen sighed. "Looks like it didn't work."Just then, Lexeaus strolled into the room.

_**Guys, I heard Roxas was sick, is everything alright? **_

"Hey," Luxord said, looking around the room, "does anyone else hear that?" There was a small growling sound. "It sound like a dog." They all looked towards the source of the noise: Roxas.

"On second thought," said Vexen, looking at Roxas, "maybe you shaking him made it worse." Roxas kept growling, and slowly stalked over to Lexeaus.

_**Roxas, are you okay? You're looking at me fun- OW! **_Roxas leapt onto the other cat, and began scratching and biting. _**Roxas! Get off me! **_The scrap died down, and Roxas stepped away from Lexeaus.

Roxas began the growling once again. "Grrrrr."

Xigbar picked Roxas up, and the growling soon died away. "So then… I guess I'll send Axel out to get a crate."

Sorry if this one is a on the short side, but I'll try to do a longer chapter next time. I hope you guys are enjoying the anniversary, and I'll see you in the next chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing this thing for the past year, and here's to one more. Remember to keep reading, reviewing, and just keep being Radical.

**RFPR**


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